Incluso las viudas negras como yo pueden tener una sonrisa Colgate! Niñas! para llegar a ser así de guapas os tenéis que lavar los dientes después de cada chupada comida!

Aquí nos muestra la mas fatal mirada que puede tener. Ella es tan especial! Solo cambiad el negro por el rosa y el pelo negro por rubio y ya esta! Una diva de primera.

No eres provocativa! Solo asustas! No tu LOOK asusta. La falta de cerebro asusta!

Y como dicen los franceses: ''keep the best for the last", aquí viene! La cereza de vuestra torta!

Download the Railroad Girl EP as a zip file (right click on link and chose "save as").

Dit blijkt geen emo babe te zijn maar een lolita goth, met dank aan ntone om me hier op attent op te maken. Ik citeer WikiAnswers:

Lolita Goth (also known as 'Gothic Lolita' or 'Gosu Rori')

This combines the darkness (and/or paleness) - and mysteriousness - of Goth fashion with the Lolita or "cute young girl" look. It seems to be particulary popular in Japan.

The term 'lolita' is associated with the childish, doll-like quality of this particular style.

The Gothic Lolita fashion has been widely popularized internationally but mainly in Japan, stepping slowly into the mainstream after the brand Moi-même-Moitié was created in 1999. Mana, the brand's creator, coined such terms as 'Elegant Gothic Lolita' and 'Elegant Gothic Aristocrat' to market his clothing label, and has become a key figure in starting the international infatuation with the style. Mana is a former band member of the now defunct visual kei band Malice Mizer.

Gothic Lolita style is characterized by 18th to late 19th century western fasions, particularly pulling from lavish Rococo decorative styles, essences of Baroque period styles, and elegant Victorian influences.

Typically, you can spot Gothic Lolita stylings by lace-trimmed dresses and modest blouses paired with skirts. The dresses and skirts are typically knee-length or longer. Petticoats or crinoline are often used to create the whimsical 'Alice' look that many people attritube this style to.

Interessant die subculturen, ik krijg al zin om er een fotoreeks rond te maken ...

Bonsoir, mes enfants obscurs!

Hoje em dia tem se tornado cada vez mais difícil encontrar no orkut fotografias de qualidade, ainda mais com composição de planos...

Dark Butterfly é uma jovem mulher bastante apaixonada por mangás (eu evito o termo otaku sempre que posso^^), que tem várias fotos de cosplay e algumas EGL bem feitas, mas esta foto em especial me chamou a atenção por fugir de simplesmente TODOS OS CLICHÊS.

Em primeiro lugar, o tom de sépia. Em tempos de fotos P&B com detalhes coloridos via Photoshop, o sépia é um toque de originalidade e (sempre) de bom gosto.

A rosa despetalada. Poderia ser uma rosa negra colorida no Photoshop, poderia ser uma rosa vermelha, ela poderia estar segurando a rosa com ares de mocinha apaixonada ou trevosa convicta, mas não. Ela optou por uma rosa clara, despetalada de forma caótica, em primeiro plano. O que temos aqui não é a mocinha suspirante ou a súcubos sedenta. Temos apenas uma mulher numa atitude que não se sabe de dor ou de desprezo.

Os planos. Ah, os planos! Essa foto é harmoniosa em todos os detalhes e a escolha dos planos, especialmente do terceiro, ao fundo, parece nos introduzir a um espetáculo. Essa foi a impressão que tive quando olhei a foto pela primeira vez: as cortinas parecem formar um palco. Ou seria uma cama sobre a qual a mulher estaria displicentemente jogada?

EM RESUMO: boa escolha de cores e cenário (cemitérios e atmosferas gótchekas não são tão originais quanto a maioria pensa, afinal...), boa iluminação e belíssima composição de planos. Parabéns.

Au Revoir

]]> http://askaweasel.wordpress.com/?p=183 Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:52:27 +0000 askaweasel http://askaweasel.wordpress.com/?p=183 Wiley-

I am now the owner of a wonderful pet, but I miss the days when I could dress up too.  How do I combine these two?  My dog always sits in my lap, so I can't wear my niceties as often as I like.

Dear D&G-

2 words:  scotch guard.  Now, your dog can run in the mud and jump on your creme suit and all will be ok.  Either that or go goth.  All black will never go out of style.  I dare the grass stain that tries to jump on your head to toe gothness to show up.

You and your dog can match- because what is more goth industrial than wearing a dog collar?  You tell me.

Thanks Ross and Hello Kitty Goth Dog Dress

It was where a 'being' called Z ruled the downstairs, never sitting, but was always stood tall and proud in trenchcoat and black contacts, his peroxide mane fixed and streaming over his otherwise shaven head.
Beyond where, outside, the most respect he could command would be a gob of spit on his back, here, one was honoured if he nodded in your direction.

It was where any manner of guy or girl could be like any manner of girl or guy - all made up to various extents of androgyny, masculinity, femininity, other, all in between and besides.

I wore make-up. I wasn't a goth. I wasn't a rocker. But I liked The Cure and I liked Metallica. And I would bound, mid conversation, from the beer garden upon hearing the bongo intro to Been Caught Stealing twelve inch by Jane's Addiction. I would freak.

I would thump all over the dance floor - all limbs flying, far and wide. I'd twirl and leap on the beat. I'd throw the left leg and right arm out and if you were in my way, sorry man, but you should fuckin' know better - that was my signature tune.

'dolph's was Tommy the Cat, and he'd do much the same but more subtle, more suave, even if it came on early from the jukebox when the dancefloor was clear.

Sí would snake sexy and seductively, sleeves held over her palms, to Lovecats. She'd share knwoing glances with me from the corners of her lovecat eyes.
The two of us fucked with Misirlou like a pair of shithot tango dancers.

Lyres was the place dreams were made, made true and broken. It was freakish like a nightmare and blissful as the end of the rainbow.
They used to sell t-shirts; "I lost my virginity at Lyres."

I'd get too drunk. I'd sit alone in the beer garden and stare. I'd just stare and ignore anyone who said anything to me. Because I was torn up inside and misunderstood and fucked up - even more than these people. More than the freaks. More than the goths. I'd never fit in. Alien.
Then I'd hear those bongos and race off. I'd return four minutes later, gasping for breath and guzzling on water, smiling all over the place and sit and light a cigarette.
And I'd stare out at the freaks and the punks and the goths and the rockers and at my friends and thank fuck for Lyres.

(Two bottles of beer later, and the guy who'd been taking out his 'rage' as a 'rat in a cage' on the dancefloor, is now Jim Morrison, swaggering across the 'floor to L.A. Woman blasting out cool as fuck over the heads. He'd morph into Satan himself as the Stones' Sympathy... faded in.)

Mi se pare oarecum ciudat sa scriu despre "muzica". Pun "muzica" intre ghilimele pentru ca vreau sa ma refer la mai mult decat linie melodica si versuri, trecand putin si spre peisajul uman din spatele acestora, cu mentalitatile si trairile specifice. M-au fascinat mereu oamenii pentru ca a asculta un un anumit stil de muzica nu se rezuma la distractie, ci semnifica un adevarat fel de a fi, de a trai, de a vedea lumea, de a gandi, de a socializa...

De-a lungul timpului aceasta arta a cauzat adevarate revolutii in mentalitatea si stilurile umane, dezvoltand culturi si subculturi specifice. Desi astazi nu mai putem vorbi despre genuri muzicale sau culturi si subculturi pure, exista inca oamenii care se pastreaza oarecum impreuna prin muzica pe care o asculta si stilul pe care il adopta. Fascinata de cautarea unor locuri in care contrariile pot coexista sau se pot unifica si trecand de la Nietzsche la Blaga, am ajuns si intr-un timp si spatiu contemporan si printre oamenii care probabil cauta inca acelasi lucru...am ajuns in apropierea muzicii si subculturii goth.

Istoria mişcării goth începe undeva pe la sfârşitul anilor ’70 în Marea Britanie. Iniţial, noţiunea de „goth” definea specificul unor formaţii post-punk şi de-abia prin anii 80 goth-ul a început să fie considerat o mişcare aparte. Înfăţişarea scenică propusă de membrii unor formaţii precum Joy Division şi Siouxsie and the Banshees ( o imagine oarecum androgină, machiajul accentuat al ochilor şi buzelor) precum şi tonalitatea sumbră a versurilor şi sunetul sinistru al chitărilor a reprezentat punctul de plecare în naşterea unei mişcări separate de mişcarea post-punk. Single-ul de debut al unei formaţii numite Bauhaus, Bela Lugosi's Dead, lansat în 1979 , este considerat a fi începutul propriu-zis al rockului gothic.

Spre deosebire de punk, muzica goth aborda o tematică mai „întunecată” inspirată din unele curente precum romantismul, simbolismul, existenţialismul.

Clubul Batcave , deschis în Londra în 1982 , a fost probabil cel mai important factor în crearea subculturii gotice, aşa cum există ea în zilele de azi. A oferit oamenilor cu idealuri şi feluri de a fi comune un loc de întalnire. Nu numai ca a fost un punct major pentru scena londoneză, dar a atras foarte multă atenţie din partea mediei, care a raspândit ideea noii subculturi în întreaga lume.

Ulterior, în interiorul goth-ului au început să se dezvolte alte subgenuri muzicale , lucru care a condus la o diversificare a subculturii în sine. Astăzi, genurile asociate în general cu acestă mişcare sunt goth rock, deathrock, darkwave, post-punk, batcave, industrial, E.B.M. Există şi un stil muzical denumit gothic-metal în jurul căruia părerile sunt foarte împărţite. Mulţi consideră că acest stil muzical nu ar avea nici o legătură cu goth-ul înafară de nume, dar există şi persoane care îl includ în limitele muzicale ale goth-ului.

La momentul actual, vestimentaţia este factorul care face ca această subcultură să intre cel mai puternic în contrast cu peisajul cotidian. Putem spune că înfăţişarea se bazează pe două substiluri mari: stilul victorian (corsete, crinoline, dantele etc) si stilul post-punk. Culorile cele mai des întâlnite sunt: negrul (preponderent), albul şi roşul. Aceste culori sunt strâns legate de semnificaţia pe care o poartă şi care nu întodeauna este aceeaşi. Faptul că se îmbracă în special în negru poate căpăta valenţe diferite pentru fiecare în parte, dar majoritatea converg spre fascinaţia exercitată de întuneric, de mister, de sumbru. Albul este tot un simbol al doliului, dar poate simboliza şi lumina care se naşte din întuneric, bucuria în durere etc. Roşul este de obicei asociat cu vampirismul.

Mentalitatea goth se referă la o gândire deschisă, lipsită de prejudecăţi, dispusă să valorifice şi elementele respinse de restul societăţii. Goth-ul implică si o stare de spirit înclinată spre melancolie şi depresie, dar în acelaşi timp şi o atitudine pozitivă, capabilă de a descoperii frumuseţea în lucrurile “întunecate”.

Ma a parte questo, posto che il problema non è tanto la veridicità del pensiero e della visione del mondo del satanismo, almeno in sè, ma che invece il problema è che esistono persone che credono veramante in simili pensieri e che credono veramente che il diavolo possa aiutarli in qualche modo, e che per questo si ritengano i dovere di adorarlo, e di offrirgli sacrifici (che però a quanto sembra sono sempre cruenti), capisco che un parroco, che per sua natura dovrebbe pensare al bene delle anime, possa sentirsi in dovere di aiutare in qualche modo le genti, e capisco che i tempi, la situazione internazionale, il dilagare continuo del male, dell'egoismo, dell'odio, possa preoccuparlo, e posso capire che i giovani di oggi hanno pochi riferimenti, una televisione che presenta spesso programmi al limite del decoro, un'industria che incita di giovani alla violenza ( basti pensare ai video giochi e ai cartoni presenti in tv)....io posso capire tutte queste cose, e condividerle, ma credo anche che come in ogni cosa, ci sia bisogno di un pò di buon senso, di cautela e di delicatezza, che sono tre caratteristiche che possono garantire una maggiore efficacia del proprio sforzo.

Ora riporterò la lista che questo parroco ha redatto, e ricordo che bastano 5 di questi punti per far sentire in diritto un genitore di portare il figlio da un medico o in parrocchia.

<Se cinque o più di queste caratteristiche corrispondono al comportamento di vostro figlio - amminisce il volantino - intervenite subito, chiedendo aiuto ad un medico o in parrocchia>

E vi prego di leggerla tutta

1) Si veste spesso di nero

2) Indossa t-shirt di band o riferite al rock

3) Mette troppo rossetto, smalto o make up di colore nero

4) Indossa strani gioielli con strani simboli, come croci rovesciate, pentagrammi, pentacoli o altri simboli di Satana

5) Manifesta interesse verso tatuaggi o piercing

6) Ascolta musica goth, o altro tipo di musica antisociale (Marylin Manson in testa)

7) Fa amicizia con altra gente che si veste, si atteggia o parla in modo eccentrico

8) Si mostra disinteressato ad attività costruttive

9) Sembra molto interessato alla morte, ai vampiri, alla magia e all'occulto

10) Si droga

11) Beve alcolici

12) Ha istinti suicidi o è depresso

13) Ha atteggiamenti autolesionistici

14) Si lamenta di annoiarsi

15) Dorme troppo, o troppo poco

16) Sta troppo sveglio durante la notte

17) Odia il sole o ogni altro tipo di luce

18) Chiede troppa privacy

19) Passa molto tempo in solitudine

20) Chiede tempo per stare da solo e in silenzio (potrebbe parlare con gli spiriti malefici, attraverso la meditazione)

21) Insiste per poter passare del tempo da solo con i suoi amici, senza l'accompagnamento di un adulto

22) Non porta rispetto alle autorità, insegnanti, preti, anziani, ma anche altri

23) Si comporta male a scuola

24) Si comporta male a casa

25) Mangia troppo o troppo poco

26) Mangia cibi gotici

27) Beve sangue o manifesta interesse nel berlo

28) Guarda la televisione via cavo o altri programmi corrotti

29) Gioca a videogames che contengono violenza oppure videogiochi di ruolo

30) Usa troppo internet, e passa molto tempo sul pc

31) Fa simboli satanici, o muove la testa aventi e indietro quando ascolta la musica

32) Balla in modo sensuale e provocatorio

33) È omosessuale o bisessuale

34) Si interessa di religioni pericolose

35) Indossa spille o adesivi con su scritto "sono goth" o "sono così gothic"

36) Si definisce goth

Ora passi per i punti in cui si parla di bere sangue, o cose simili, ma ritengo quanto mai controproducente, e per certi punti di vista pericoloso, sostenere che un ragazzo/a, che si annoia, dorme troppo o troppo poco, che mangia troppo o troppo poco, ha istinti suicida o è depresso, manifesta disinteresse per attività costruttive, sta troppo sveglio durante la notte, chiede molta privacy, chiede di stare da solo o in silenzio, passa tempo in solitudine, che insiste per passare del tempo da solo con gli amici senza la presenza di un genitore, guarda la televisione via cavo o programmi "corrotti" ( cioè tutti i programmi televisivi a parte " a sua immagine" e la messa della domenica, e forse "la prova del cuoco", ma anche li capita di sentire battute a doppio senso"), usa per molto tempo internet e passa molto tempo al pc, balla in modo sensuale e provocatorio, si interessa a religione pericolose ( quali sono le religioni pericolose? ), sia un satanista, o che bastino 5 di questi punti per far allarmare i genitori.

Perchè se riflettiamo su un adolescente medio e se pensiamo a tutti i problemi connessi all'adolescenza ( bulimia, anoressia, depressione, difficoltà di comunicazione con genitori, tendenza all'isolamento, desiderio eccessivo di libertà ), o alle tendenze che detta la moda ( magrezza,tatuaggi e piercing), buona parte degli adolescenti possono tranquillamente rientrare in 5 di questi punti,e quindi qualunque genitore potrebbe essere preso dal panico, che è solo controproducente, e cmq credo che se anche ci fosse il dubbio, prima di correre da un medico o in parrocchia, la prima cosa che dovrebbe fare un genitore è di seguire di più il figlio, magari si scoprirebbero problemi connessi a cose che satanismo di certo non sono.

Per non parlare poi del fatto di aver annoverato l'omosessualità e la bisessualità fra le caratteristiche sintomo di satanismo, ora puoi ritenerle contro natura, puoi non essere d'accordo, puoi persino ritenerle una malattia mentale, una disfunzione genetica, biologica, ma che questi siano sintomi di satanismo creeranno solamente ancora più divario fra i figli e i genitori.  MI chiedo anche cosa siano i cibi gotici....

Ripeto capisco lo sforzo e la preoccupazione del parroco, e quanto mai capisco le preoccupazioni del genitori, ma credo anche che ogni cosa debba essere presa "cum grano salis", io sinceramente mi preoccuperei seriamente se mio figlio si vestisse o prendesse come esempio Costantino e mia figlia se prendesse ad esempio Paris Hilton

Un'ultima cosa..vorrei ricordare che fra i telefilm più visti e più mandati in onda in italia in questi anni ci sono "Streghe" ( un must quando ero adolescente), "Buffy", " Angel", credete che li avrebbero mandati in onda se nessuno li avesse visti? Per non parlare dei cartoni, sono cresciuta con "magica Emy", "creamy", "bia e la sfida della magia", "i cavalieri dello zodiaco" i "puffi" ( non sono magici?) "sailor moon", "la fata smemorina", la strega della bella addormentata", " la regina cattiva di Biancaneve", e i cartoni di oggi tipo le "Winx" ?

Link della fonte: http://ilforomagna.repubblica.it/dettaglio/Compagni-di-classe-dediti-allocculto-Come-smascherarli-in-cinque-mosse/1395513?edizione=Forli

The older I get the more I've given myself permission to be a complete girly girl from time to time. Pink seems to be the way I express that. You should see my bedroom. It looks like someone barffed Pepto Bismol in there. I pity and adore the man who dares to enter. The right man will deal with it. He's a MAN. He may not love it, but he can handle it. Amen.

Oddly, pink does not come naturally to me. I grew up lime green--shag carpet, checked curtains, everything. I never had, nor ever wanted that fluffy birthday party above. I wouldn't have been caught dead in pink when I was a kid. NEVER. In my 20s I gave over to black, goth before goth had a name, then denounced it in my 30s, except for cocktail parties. Now I like most colors, still green, with a little secret pension for pink. It feels so daring.  

I didn't get that birthday cake today, although there's no reason I can't make it for myself. I like to bake and my birthday can last as long as I want it to, right?  I did however buy myself a gift today,  not necessarily in the birthday category, but whatever: a new remote control--because I AM the queen of my castle, and as such don't ever have to share the remote. I can watch Spike TV, HGTV or as many episodes of Burn Notice as i can locate. Any. Time. I want. The only thing that would make this baby better is if it came in pink. ;-)

Best Poems Ever(gthic): updated

Insane Awsome Guitar:updated

Insane Awsome Guitar: made

Best Poems Ever(gthic):made

Enjoying a smoke in Yoyogi Park, Tokyo.

How many people have ever suffered from the "Music Consumer's Lament"?

How many people don't know what I'm talking about?

Sorry, I didn't mean to be so vague.  How many people have heard a song that you really liked, and you went to buy the CD just because of that one song... or maybe two songs that you "kinda" liked... only to find out that the rest of the CD wasn't worth the $16 you paid for it?  Be honest... I know I'm not the only one!  ;-)

That's the "Music Consumer's Lament".  I'm not going to say anything bad about the music industry, suffice it to say... what happened to music?  MTV started up in the early 80's, and it was great.  They aired music videos all day long.  Now MTV plays reruns of 'The Real World', 'Road Rules', and the only music videos they play... well... they aren't really music videos.  Most of the "music videos" they air are either promoting ridiculous wealth as an ultimate goal, or the notion that objectifying women is actually a "good" thing... and I'm not just speaking about hip-hop... rock promotes these things as well.  As Lewis Black once said, "MTV is to music what KFC is to chicken".  And he's absolutely right.

Don't get me wrong.  Some of the music MTV plays is catchy... when they do decide to air a music video.  But how many of those music videos do you watch, and you think to yourself, "Wow!  What a great message!  It's universal, and I can really relate!  And the musicianship was brilliant!"?  Chances are, not too many.  Right?  Gone are the days of epic Michael Jackson, Madonna, or Guns n' Roses videos.  Gone are the days of "Rock the Casbah", "99 Red Balloons", and "Video Killed the Radio Star"... ok, the last one's not a great example because I miss the radio star, too.

The point is:  MTV has spent the last two decades destroying music as we know it.

And the record industry?  I just got a memo from A & R online, complaining about how the poor record execs aren't going to keep making their $300,000 to $700,000 a year salaries.  Pobrecitos (Poor babies).  I think I hear the "waaaahbulance" coming.  What about the artist?  What about the songwriter?

Who cares?  They're just the ones writing and performing the songs.  They don't need to make a living.  Right?  Well, the truth is, a lot of professional recording artists make a living for more than a dozen people.  Many of them are making less than an A & R executive however... especially the hundreds of thousands of artists who send their unsolicited demos in to the record companies waste bins.  That's usually where a demo CD goes these days.  I understand the talent scouts in charge of listening to demos have a lot on their plate, and it's a bit too time consuming to listen to 3 or 4 demos a day, let alone 3 or 4 hundred.  Enter the indie musician.

We are unsigned.  We don't have to give 70% of our profit to lawyers, agents, managers, and record executives.  We don't have to sign a record deal if we don't want to.  We also don't make a living at it, unless we're really lucky... or we're really good at networking.  Enter the music consumer.

A lot of music consumers like certain types of music for one reason:  Simplicity.  And there's nothing wrong with enjoying music that's simple, as long as it's catchy, and it means something.  Some of the most simple songs in the world are also the catchiest, most meaningful songs.  Enter the music genres.

There are so many music genres and sub-genres of music that it's hard to keep track of them.  Orchestral, opera, folk, folk rock, blues, jazz, big band, swing, fusion, country, country-rock, country-pop, pop, new wave, pop-punk, post-punk, goth punk, alternative, alternative rock, rock, hard rock, goth rock, emo rock, doom rock, pop rock, glam rock, progressive rock, metal, hair metal, pop metal, speed metal, death metal, black metal, progressive metal, thrash metal, rap metal, hardcore, "mathcore", thrashcore, electronica, techno, house, drum and bass, industrial, industrial rock, industrial metal, r & b, hip-hop, rap, gangsta rap, and the list keeps going.  Even my mp3 software has a sub-genre available entitled "Primus".  However, I would like to introduce a new sub-genre:

Trannycore.

It's got a certain ring to it.  And to let you all hear what "Trannycore" sounds like, here's a music video they WON'T play on MTV:

And another:

That, my friends, is Trannycore.  And there's more where that came from.

My latest musical creation, 'Transformation Synergy' is now officially available for purchase.  And because I don't want anyone to suffer the "Music Consumer's Lament", I have posted a few of my songs on my website for your listening pleasure:

www.transformationsynergy.synthasite.com

Go to the media section to listen to clips from both albums, 'Pariah' and 'Transformation Synergy', and please check out the rest of the website while you're there.  For purchasing information, please check out the store section.

Now here's the catch:

'Transformation Synergy' is available for $20, and there's a reason it's so costly.  Every penny from my album sales goes into the Chloë Handler SRS Fund.  And here's the scoop on that:

SRS (Sex Reassignment Surgery) is really expensive, and as stated by the AMA, is medically necessary.  I don't have insurance, and even if I did, SRS would not be covered by insurance.  It is completely out of pocket, even though it has been declared medically necessary.  Insurance companies will cover hysterectomies and mastectomies for women with cancer, and orcheidectomies for men with testicular cancer, but they refuse to cover the exact same things for transexuals.  And so, I'm offering 'Transformation Synergy' for a $20 donation.  But wait!  There's more!

If you are one of the first 50 people to order 'Transformation Synergy', you will receive an autographed copy of the CD, plus an autographed copy of 'Pariah', plus an autographed limited edition DVD featuring the same music videos featured above.

If you're one of the next 100 people to order 'Transformation Synergy', you will receive the CD, plus the limited edition DVD.

Not too shabby for a $20 donation, eh?

This is where I need as much help as I can get from everyone.  If you like the music you hear, please donate.  I will soon be posting more music clips on the website, so everyone can get a good taste of what 'Transformation Synergy' has to offer.  Our goal is 1,000 copies, so please help us reach that goal.

Again, the website is www.transformationsynergy.synthasite.com

Thank you in advance.

Love and Peace,

Chloë Elise

Asexuals: "Take A Look Around"
Asexuals deliver some fun, bouncy punk that makes me dance like a Muppet.

Big Electric Cat: "Orchid Dreaming"
Remember Big Electric Cat? "Christabel?" I got this from the mindless, pandering Cleopatra compilation "Music Inspired By Sisters Of Mercy," but it's also on other mindless, pandering Cleopatra compilations like This Is Gothic, and Gothik. In a related note, Cleopatra apparently REALLY want you to hear Godhead's cover of "Bela Lugosi's Dead." (Don't.)

Blank and Jones: "A Forest"
Yet another song from a Cleopatra money-grub, but this techno-fied Cure cover actually still has Bob Smith on vocals. NEW vocals, it sounds like. Unlike the original, you can understand all of the words. By the way, have you heard the Creaming Jesus "A Forest?" Fun. Creaming Jesus's "Temple of Love?" Hilarious. Instead of verses, the vocalist just yells "goth goth goth goth goth goth goooooth goth!"

Dead Guitars: "Feels Alright"
Sounds like The Smiths or The Church but with a bit of female vocals on the chorus.

Destroid: "Bird Of Prey," "Friend Or Foe"
Both from their Loudspeaker album, these tasties sound like Fictional. Let the cardancing begin.

Die Siffer: Damn near the entire album Viel Nichts un Larm
German punk rock that goes beyond the usual "doubletime and yellin'" template.

Die Strafe: "Gegen Morgen," "Boseslied"
OK, so it's a bit much to name your album "black" (or is it "dark?"). But the joy of this bouncy punkiness IS the "a bit much" nature of it.

Green On Red: "Sun Goes Down," "Baby Loves Her Gun"
"Sun Goes Down" sounds like if Nick Cave had Tom Petty's voice. "Baby Loves Her Gun" sounds like Adam Duritz and Axel Rose had a really, really bummed out kid.

Luke Haines: "Going Off My Rocker At The Art School Bop," "All The English Devils"
He namechecks (and mispronounces) graphic designer Moholoy-Nagy, but hey. Honest mistake. "Off My Rocker" is delightful synthpop fluff, and "All The English Devils" sounds like what would happen if Voltaire has wicked falsetto (and an ability to sing about something other than goth people).

Juliette and the Licks: Four On The Floor (whole damn album)
I've had this for a bit, but I don't think I've mentioned it. Critics loved this album by the previously unfortunately conrowed Juliette Lewis for good reason. She's freakin' out and showing us that she probably LOVES Iggy Pop.

New Skin: "Cherry Flowers and Bedroomsongs"
From yet another Cleopatra money-grub, this time titled "Gothic Essential Tracks." That title is largely a misnomer, but this song is delicious.

Oxymoron: albums Feed The Breed and Westworld
Punky goodness, highlighted by the amusing song "Don't Call Me Cunt." Wheeee!

Palodine: album Garden Of Deceit, whole dang album.
Bum-out music for people who enjoy Cowboy Junkies...or just don't KNOW they like Cowboy Junkies (me).

The Shroud: album Long Ago and Far Away, also "Vision" and "When Flowers Fall"
I was reminded of The Shroud in a conversation last week where I first got them mixed up with Switchblade Symphony and then couldn't remember their biggish hit. The hit was "Caged Bird," from Long Ago And Far Away...both being kick-ass straight-up goth suitable for the "pretend like you're overdosing on heroin, but you're really happy about it" dance.

Switchblade Symphony: album The Three Calamities
Most of their big hits came from the album previous to this one, but if you dismissed The Three Calamities when it came out in 1999, it may be time to give it a shot, as I suspect that THIS was when Switchblade hit their stride. The "gets old after a while" hit "Clown" was just foreplay.

The Veils: The Runaway Found
The son of that dude from Shriekback is here to bum you ALL the way out...and really remind you of a less boring Echo & The Bunnymen. Yeah, you heard me: I think Echo is kinda boring. Sorry.

Ian Whitcomb: Red Hot Blue Heaven
Cheeky Brit performs amusing ditties that sound like they were jacked from Monty Python. "Farmyard Caberet" is awesomely demented :)

Also, I was recently given Somegirl's The Velvet Hour to review. While the review (in which I gush shamelessly) probably won't post for a while, but I'll give you the reader's digest: if you like Ayria, Switchblade Symphony, Claire Voyant, or the Pet Shop Boys there's stuff on there that you will love. Do it. Do it now.

• The Lord of Darkness of any evil organization lives in some sort of fortress, each one being named slightly different in order to avoid mistakes with the local mailing services. Subscriptions to "Evil's Digest" or "Evil Today" could get lost. However, as a general rule, dark lords tend to get pretty pissed off if their monthly subscription to "Playboy, you little rascal of malevolent genius" gets lost.

• Being the peak of an evil hierarchy often grants some title of nobility, as such "king", "lord", "prince" or any other of the likes. If they have no access to a title of nobility, the evil leader will adopt a nickname in the form of punch line, probably to seed fear in the hearts of villagers and keep tax inspectors away. Some examples might be "prince malchezaar" or "Lich King" for those who managed to get into nobility, and "Gruul the Dragonslayer", Illidan "The Betrayer". We're investigating "Burger King" to find out about his specific field of evilness.

(If you ever forget their official name, you can stick to standards: "great lord of darkness" or "your evil majesty" will do fine)

• Evil leaders must hire high amounts of stunt men to be randomly killed before getting to real threats. This is a follow up of the classic Star Trek's technique of adding some non-regular actors to get killed in action during the exploration of some new planet. If you see yourself regularly patrolling some door in a fortress, start to get suspicious.

• Dark lords are goths. They wear black clothes and skulls hanging from any part of their bodies. The more skulls, the merrier. They look very haggard and emaciated. Either they have severe nutritional problems or they are goths. I swear. However, we have failed to prove if they have trouble to distinguish between male and female when picking out sexual partners. Goths, no doubt.

• A prince of darkness must stick to evilness under any circumstance. He also must aim to theatrical performance, such as malevolent laugh, catchy and repetitive sentences to settle your evil philosophy. Examples:

"you are not prepaaaaareeed!" (Illidan Stormrage)

"Resistance is futile" (The Borg Community, it's basically their way of communicating)

"This is gonna be legen... wait for it... DARY!" (Bartney Stinson)

• Scheduled sacrifices to set an example of your cruelty and tyranny would be great. Add some chaos scattered all over the mess and you've got the exact amount of evilness to become a great Dark Lord.

(NOTE: Chuck Norris follows no rules, he is a dark lord no matter what)

instead of getting into Studio 54 and blowing rails with Andy Warhol like these awesome girls:

I'm serious. That one in the apple jumper is totally connected. She's going to get in media fights with Tom Cruise about drugs and everything.

So anyway, if you want to hang out with her and her friends, what are you going to do? The answer is easy: don't just go back to school, goth back to school. Goth is hotter than ever. I know, because I heard "Bela Lugosi's Dead" today when I was sitting in the lobby of a Honda dealership. Hot. So, you know, it's everywhere. And everywhere is where you want to be.

And I'm here to help. Just write in to me at herndonofsunnyvale(at)gmail.com in order to qualify for the following goth notions starter kit:

If you win, ask Mom to trim your new pantsuits and jumpers with your new notions, and you are set. The colors didn't come out really well in my photo above, but rest assured, you are getting:

• 36 1/2 inches of black cyberpunk satin ribbon
• 57 1/2 inches of slutty goth (is that sloth? glut?) crochet-style lace
• 34 inches of royal dominatrix purple ribbon
• 18 inches of Victorian steampunk black velvet ribbon
• a full 111 inches of burgundy wine like the color of my one true love's clotted blood grosgrain ribbon

Write in; I will send the notions to the first or most sincere person who sends me an email. Good luck!

There's no fancy pictures cuz it really didn't need any.

It's called a razors love song.  It does not endorse cutting wrists (yours or others), committing suicide, getting others to commit suicide, offering up blood sacrifices, swearing blood oaths or giving that annoying kid in math class who knows all the answers and thinks he's so friggin' cool even though he's just fat an 80s Mohawk.

I wrote it.

Because we all have feelings.

Some of them are even love.

V.

P.S you are going to need to click on it twice.  One click, enlarges, two clicks enlarges more.  Hence you can read it.