This is where I'm going to spend most of the next days, because I finally entered my well-deserved summer break!

In a few hours I'll start my little journey south to Heilbronn, meeting up with old buddies and some girls, too, I hope. The best thing about it: I'll meet Jay, once again! Time to have fun and discuss some things, at last. Eule will also be there =D

Then I'm off to the far east, into this little, rural place of harmony pictured above. It's family time, as I'll meet my grandparents for the first time in two years. I haven't even been at their place - which is also the place where I grew up - for over eight years now. This may sound strange, but I'm really thrilled by the thought of going there after so many years, because it's such a welcome distraction from my busy everyday life in Düsseldorf.

So, please have a nice week, listen to some cool music, take part in my wallpaper challenge or think about advertising here.

See you soon again, my friends!~

(Some hours ago, I had to laugh! ¦D ...see?)
 

I came to think about a funny story a few moments after I published my previous horrendous article. Hopefully this will entertain you a bit more and make you forget that other article (the one I didn't write *wink wink nudge nudge*).

My hair is getting fairly long and unruly. It more or less lives it own life now. No, it is not dirty, it has always been like that. Any how, it is getting to that length that putting some hair goo in it makes it only look good for an hour or two. After that it is back to its own crazy self again. It is also a bit too warm to wear a beanie, so I try my best at grooming it in the morning or forcing myself to wear a beanie.

For a few days ago I told Lizzie I would just put a large amount of hair goo in it and ruff it up good. She just laughed and said I should do it. Too bad she forgot that I tend to do silly things like that now and then.

Today I added a good amount of hair goo and did my best at making it stand tall from my head in every direction. I did it so successfully that I got the "have you played with the power outlet today" joke a few times.

The funniest part though is that Lizzie was first a bit shocked that I did it and thought it looked awful unflattering; but after seeing me a few times she got used to the crazy scruffy Wolverine look. She even started to like it, I think.

Even if I'm an introvert I find it fun to shock and provoke sometimes. I guess I will just wear a beanie tomorrow, as I'm tired of having a bad hair day everyday. Not too keen on all that attention everyday you know.

Note: The photography is meant to be pixelized, so there's nothing wrong with your browser.

Nogle gange er jeg ved at blive vanvittig af al den støj, der er i verden. Jeg har en aversion mod støj. Giv mig så stilheden tilbage!

For mange år siden havde jeg en kæreste, der altid havde fjernsynet til at køre i stuen, samtidig med at radioen spillede i køkkenet. Det var en af dræberne for det forhold.

I min tidligere lejlighed (fra 1934) var der frygtelig lydt, og mens der stadig boede gamle mennesker, der ikke vidste, de var tunghøre, var jeg ved at blive sindssyg af at skulle leve i en 'lydsandwich'. Når man er introvert, er man meget følsom overfor lydindtryrk, får man tillige stress bliver det endnu værre, og da min depression var værst, lød et klik med musen som et tordenskrald.

Da de gamle endelig var døde eller flyttet (på plejehjem?), blev der bygget en daginstitution fem meter fra min altan - 60 råbende børn fra 07:00 til 17:00 var mere end jeg kunne klare.

Hvidovre er (H)vidunderlig. Her er så stille - også selv om jeg bor ud til torvet og en befærdet vej. Trafikstøjen generer ikke det fjerneste, for den er stabil, og naboerne hører jeg stort set aldrig. Byggeriet er fra 1945; der ser man hvad 11 års forskel i byggeteknik kan medføre.

Stud. Theol. Maria Larsen havde i går en klumme i Kristeligt Dagblad med titlen "En indre kilde af ro". Den handlede om støj ctr. stilhed, om at der næsten ikke er rum til stilhed længere - måske lige bortset fra kirkens rum, og det er endda ikke altid, det lykkes dér. Hun skriver bl.a.: "Og vi har behov for fred. For hvad sker der med os, hvis der i længere tid er ubalance mellem aktiviteter og krav og tiden til bare at være stille? Så kan vi blive syge, af stress, af depression. Vi får ikke ladet batterierne op, fordi der ikke er tid til at søge ind dér, hvor der ikke er krav eller forstyrrende støj, men ren væren."

Jeg giver hende ret! Fraværet af ydre ro fjerner også den indre ro, og når den mangler, kan man blive ramt af stress eller depression. Det kan - selv for professionelle - være svært at kende forskel på de to, for der er så mange af de ydre tegn, der er ensartede. De er hinandens følgesvende, men de er et kedeligt makkerpar at have med sig, for de er så ødelæggende for alt det fine i livet. De ødelægger glæden, lysten, energien og overskuddet. Måske kan man sige, at de kærlighedens modsætning, for de ødelægger alt det, som kærligheden giver.

I mange år, har jeg manglet min indre ro, men efter at være blevet kureret for en svær depression, er roen kommet tilbage, blot ti-fold stærkere. Det er sjældent, der går en dag, uden at jeg mærker min indre ro, og glæder mig over den. Der er mennesker i min omgangskreds, der ligefrem bemærker den, kommenterer den, glæder sig over den og siger, at den smitter af på dem. Det gør mig glad - for jeg vil gerne være "En kilde til indre ro".

Anyway, the cool thing of today is: I own a new webcam. Dunno what I'll be doing with it, but it's good to have one, right?

Yeah, I bet Nils and David (and I) will be pretty exhausted tomorrow. But doesn't matter, as long as that funky party we're going to fulfills our hopes of a decent evening of Always Hardcore!!

That's it for today, I'm tired out and need to get some rest for tonight and the next week. So enjoy this out-of-my-window picture from some minutes ago...Düsseldorf at 5am...and have a good night!

 

Friends have heard me defend The Patriot, which is not a good movie at all. But come on! Mel Gibson looks up from the cooling corpse of his next-oldest son, grabs a handful of rifles from his burning house, and recruits his next two oldest sons to sprint through the woods and ambush the British! He charges out of the woods screaming with a hatchet! And all for revenge!

I liked Man on Fire, even in spite of Tony Scott's camera antics. Sure, everyone in the film had two settings - histrionic or cold. Sure, the pacing left something to be desired. But come on! Denzel Washington loses his client's daughter in a firefight. So after getting enough blood back in his body to stumble out of bed, what does he vow?

"I'm gonna kill 'em. Anyone that was involved. Anybody who profited from it. Anybody who opens their eyes at me."

And I got similarly excited about Taken, a movie so apparently mediocre that it'll never get a domestic release (it opened in France in February of this year). The few critics who saw it described it as "paint by numbers." It looks pretty formulaic (note that none of the protagonists have a last name).

But come on! Tell me you wouldn't want to growl this into a live telephone:

Jack Bauer. Batman. Inigo Montoya. Jason Bourne. Dirty Harry. People who get beat down, lose the ones they love, and then come back in a blaze of indignation. Why does that speak to me? Why do I get such a primal, unavoidable kick out of that?

I think it speaks to that fundamental animal rage which all of us - who share more than 95% of our DNA with animals - carry. The "laugh in triumph over a defeated foe" that Orwell talks about: the brutal, pre-rational appeal of nationalism. We want to kill, and we want our killing to be sanctioned by a moral code. He hurt my family, therefore it's okay if I cut off his fingers. He killed my wife, so it's all right if I slaughter everyone he knows and burn his house to the ground. No impartial jury or outside observer would think that's a proportional or fair response - but come on! I'm the Good Guy, so my savagery makes me driven. They're the Bad Guys; their savagery makes them subhuman.

But ultimately, in stories like that, the tissue-thin distinction between Good Guys and Bad Guys suggests more than it divides. We don't cheer the Good Guy because he did the right thing by stabbing the Bad Guy in the top of the skull. We cheer the Good Guy because he totally fucking killed that dude! Did you see that? We identify with him because he has his reasons - they took my job, they hurt my family, whatever - but that's secondary^*. The chaotic, reptilian roar of victory after bashing someone's neck seals the deal.

So my love of revenge arises from evolved instincts. I think that's okay. I recognize and acknowledge it. Indulging in fantasy never hurt anyone, provided you keep it private. It's the difference between GTA 3 and Columbine. It's the difference between watching a Briana Banks movie and actually trying to fuck the babysitter. So long as I never take a drunken swing at a bouncer for wrongs real or imagined, I think I'll be fine.

We all have instincts that we did not choose making decisions for us. I try to stay informed about mine.

^* Think about it: if maiming in pursuit of revenge makes him noble, wouldn't taking the extra effort to keep his family safe in the first place be really noble?

Anyway, so I was surfing around the internet, and I found this great article on shyness, and how to help you overcome it. I will post the things most important to me, and then give you guys the link. Don't worry this isn't my post for the day, after all, it's 2:30 am. Here's the link  -

http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/20-ways-to-attack-shyness/

Can you remember the last time you stepped into a room full of strangers and felt that self-conscious and awkward feeling rush over you? Or that heart thumping moment when you wanted to ask someone on a date, but were too shy to do so? Or wanting to approach someone for business, but was too hesitant to actually do it? That anxiety in the pit of your stomach in social situations? Does it always feel like something is holding you back?

Regardless of whether you are introverted or extraverted, we can all relate to that feeling of shyness at some point in our lives. Socially, we tend to have the misconception that only introverts experience shyness, but that is not true. Shyness has more to do with being uncomfortable with one’s self, especially around other people.

The Three Components of Shyness

According to Dr. Bernardo J. Carducci of the Shyness Research Institute, shyness has three components:

• Excessive Self-Consciousness - you are overly aware of yourself, particularly in social situations.
• Excessive Negative Self-Evaluation - you tend to see yourself negatively.
• Excessive Negative Self-Preoccupation - you tend to pay too much attention to all the things you are doing wrong when you are around other people.

How to Overcome Shyness

We’ve both experienced different variations of shyness, and through practice and increased awareness we have both overcome this. The following are tips that have helped us overcome this uncomfortable feeling.

Photo by Lauren

1. Understand Your Shyness - Seek to understand your unique brand of shyness and how that manifests in your life. Understand what situation triggers this feeling? And what are you concerned with at that point?

2. Turning Self Consciousness into Self Awareness - Recognize that the world is not looking at you. Besides, most people are too busy looking at themselves. Instead of watching yourself as if you are other people, bring your awareness inwards. Armed with your understanding of what makes you shy, seek within yourself and become the observing presence of your thoughts. Self awareness is the first step towards any change or life improvement.

3. Find Your Strengths - We all have unique qualities and different ways of expressing ourselves. It’s important to know and fully accept the things we do well, even if they differ from the norm. If everyone was the same, the world would be a pretty boring place.

• Find something you are good at and focus on doing it. An identifiable strength will boost your natural self esteem and your ego, helping you better identify with yourself. It is a short term fix, but will give you the confidence you need to break your self-imposed barrier of fear.
• See how your unique strength gives you an advantage. For example, Amanda is a naturally quiet person who prefers to spend time alone. She learned that she listens better than others and notices things that others miss in conversations. She also discovered that her alone time has given her a better understanding of herself.

4. Learn to Like Yourself - Practice appreciating yourself and liking the unique expression that is you. Write a love letter to yourself, do things you enjoy, give gratitude for your body and its effortless functions, spend quality time getting to know yourself, go on a self-date.

5. Not Conforming - Trying to fit in like everyone else is exhausting and not very much fun. Understand that it is okay to be different. In fact, underlying popular kid’s public displays of coolness, they too are experiencing insecurities, self-consciousness, and awkwardness. Accept that you may not be perceived as the most popular social butterfly, and you may not want to be either. At the end of the day, being popular will not make you happy. Accepting your unique qualities can set you free.

6. Focus on Other People - Rather than focusing on your awkwardness in social situations, focus on other people and what they have to say. Become interested in learning about others, and probe them to talk about themselves. You can try pondering the question while interacting: What is it about this person that I like?

7. Releasing Anxiety through Breath - Anxiety and fear can feel overwhelming if you are practicing to become more assertive in order to overcome this fear.

• One simple technique to calm this anxiety into manageable bites is taking deep breaths with your eyes closed, while concentrating on just your breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly while clearing out all thoughts.
• Another technique is from yoga: counting as you inhale and then as you exhale. Slowly leveling out your inhale and exhale duration. Example, 4 count for in and 4 for out. Once your breaths are leveled, add an extra count during your exhale. This means slowing down your exhale by just a tad as compared to your inhale. Continue for a few minutes until you are comfortable, than add another count to your exhale. You can easily do this in the bathroom, or in a spare room of when you need it.

8. Releasing Anxiety through Movement - One way of viewing anxiety is that it is blocked energy that needs to be released. We can release this energy through physical movement.

• Exercises like jogging or walking will help to re-channel some of the blocked energies, but also helps by pulling you out of the situation and shifts your state of mind. This refreshed state of mind will help by adding perspectives to things.
• Another effective technique is a simple muscle meditation/exercise. Sit down or lie down. Bring awareness to every part of your body, starting from your toes and moving up your body to the top of your head. At every part of your body, tighten the muscles at the center of awareness for 3-5 seconds, and then relax. Repeat this until you get to the top of your head. Remember to breathe.

It's so good
To have you back,
Stomach-crunching basslines!
♥

I call bullshit.

I'm an introvert, extremely shy and somewhat of a "Type-D" personality. According to the study I am supposed to be more prone to viral infections as well at a higher risk for cancer and heart disease.

Now, this study states that it got its findings from observation of animals.

I can understand the heart disease from being "Type-D," but cancer? I think that might be a bit of a stretch. And am I really more prone to viral infections? I'm hardly ever sick. Ever. Am I just some exception to the rule?

I call bullshit, quackery and any other synonyms detailing the high unlikeliness of this study. I think that we're looking way too deep into things to try to find ways to live longer, and I think that by doing so, we're doing nothing more than causing these problems to develop through worry. "Informing the public" is one thing. Scaring the shit out of them telling them that they're more likely to die than the guy next door is another.

Just my two cents.

Had our last day at business school today and got our annual reports.

Mine turned out pretty nice. My GPA is 1.7 (= a good B+) and I didn't hit the record for the most lessons missed, whew! My 'head grades', which are for things like motivation, reliability and social behaviour, even average a flawless 1.0~

Now I only need some vacation from the office to finally enjoy the summer without everyday action. Fortunately, my two-week summer break for mid-July is already booked. I haven't been to Heilbronn since New Year's Eve, so I'm definitely looking forward to my vacation.

Enough for now, here are some handycam quality shots ;D

 

Six weeks without sitting in the top-last corner of
that ugly building on a beautiful summer day!

Six weeks without Sina text-messaging her
entire top-up card empty in three hours!

That's just Mounir =D

Now that the Italians are gone, we finally get some days without football action in the evenings. I'm pretty much enjoying the tournament so far, but it's nice to do some other stuff and not missing anything.

Anyway, I hope I didn't scare away too many of my readers with all my EURO bloggin', but this will soon be over, rest assured. You probably missed some music reviews, too, but this month really featured nothing of interest whatsoever. Fortunately, this will also change soon, since the summer is basically bursting with new releases from all your favourite J-rock bands!

Then, I failed getting my lazy Sunday ass to the Unterbacher See today, even if the weather was too nice. Not for long, though, as it soon started to rain, and a heavy storm descended. Instead, I was satisfied with The Simpsons and a yummy package of delivered, increased-quality food from Hallo Pizza. They've really learned how to make a perfectly tasty pizza by now.

Apart from that, my weekend has been rather low-key and uninspiring. Yet, there's a fun week incoming, with our company's summer party on Friday. I guess that will be fun!

Did I already mention that I like Mondays? It's not that I've gone crazy now, but at least they're the shortest of all my workdays =)

So long and good night, my friends!

My husband is left handed and I want him right. My wife has brown eyes and I want them green.

Outrageous requests, but trying to change your spouse’s temperament ranks just as high on the crazy scale. Temperament is the genetic part of your personality. Think introvert, extrovert, or HSP. Trying to change this part of your spouse launches a losing battle. Rather, follow these steps.

Seek to understand his/her temperament. Ask how they feel about life and daily living. Does work overwhelm him; does she love a busy schedule?

Listen as they describe their world and do not interrupt or correct. Allow him/her to share without reservation or fear of reproach. For example, your spouse may not like surprises. A new restaurant may be exhausting, yet for you it may be thrilling.  Hold back any criticism as they talk. Next, share your world.  Sincerely seek to understand your spouse’s world views and honestly share yours.

Next, compare notes and determine how the differences affect your marriage. Find the friction points and decide how to smooth them.  Your surprise birthday dinner at a new restaurant caused a battle. Maybe next time you research a new restaurant so your spouse can feel familiar with the new eatery.

Learn how to trade; how to learn from each other? I am an HSP – Highly Sensitive Person – Laura is not. So I have learned to step out a little more, and she has gleaned some of my sensitivities. Growing together opens the lock, changing each other rusts it shut. We naturally change but not through force, let change be organic as your exchange each other’s world.

Finally, share expectations. This can and should take a while. That’s the fun, sharing your expectations over a long period of time. When you know your spouse’s expectations you better understand and therefore disappoint each other less. He may expect friends for his birthday. She may expect a quiet dinner followed by a walk.

Trying to change each other based on a fantasy or someone you know fractures a marriage; growing together knits it. Take time to learn about and from each other and you will weave a tapestry of beauty.
CoachOurMarriage

Introverted is NOT:

• disliking social interaction
• being socially awkward and inept at conversation
• shy and neurotic

Introverted IS:

• finding energy from alone time
• enjoying deep conversation with another person
• deep thinking and analyzing
• privately reflecting
• the need to be invited to speak, drawn out
• preferring close relationships with a few people

So, although I totally have the ability to make friends and be perfectly at ease in social settings, my preference and comfort is to be at home with my family, or at a coffee shop with a great friend. I prefer to have only one or two activities planned in a day, and I can bum around the house like a champ for hours on end without feeling lazy or unproductive. Yep, that's me, to a T.

Hi. My name is Melanie, and I'm an introvert. Wow, that felt good.

The creator has provided two games for play during our stay. The first game bestows the creator's infinite and limitless powers into the hands of a single-player. The player operates in an independent but isolated environment. No rules, no ranks, no competition, no limitations. The second game is regulated but multi-player. Interacting in groups to overcome obstacles is not only permitted, but in many cases the only way to progress.

It is quite unfortunate that natural law dictates the segregation of the two games. Moving between games is permitted, but most have a tendency to play one over the other.

I wish I weren't so familiar with the following sentence:  "I hope this time I've really learned this lesson."  Once again I got so caught up with scheduling myself that I forgot my personal commitment to down time.  I need down time.  Alone time.  Time on the couch doing nothing.  Can I hear the introverts breathe a collective "amen"?

This year on my own has been a crash course in how to take care of myself.  The first few months was full of alone time.  Initially it had a lot to do with coming out of the pit that was my marriage; I'd really cut myself off from my friends and interests.  My husband and I are both introverts, and we fell into the habit of spending our time together - although most of that together time found us not engaged with each other, but simply both in the house at the same time.  Once I moved out I started seeing my friends more, but still spent a huge amount of time by myself.  I felt wounded and cocooned in grief - the idea of being out with people was overwhelming and inconceivable.  Now it's been almost a year, the emotional bruises are fading, and being out with friends, travelling, and dating is fun and exciting and quite heady.  I'm also trying to get back on the ball professionally, so I'm booking more talks and attending more networking events.  My calendar is packed with commitments.

I like to wave at balance as I swing by.  Today, after three weeks of my version of "lifestyles of the rich and famous", my body cried uncle.  Sore throat, sponge head, hacking and wheezing.  I cancelled my appointments for the day and hit the couch.  I've been reading, sleeping,  drinking tea.  These are all the things I like to do on a day off, when I have the sense to book myself one. 

Learning.  I'm still learning how to do this thing.  I'm getting better, though.  The first time I ran myself down into physical crash and burn it was my therapist who had me get out my calendar, find the day with the fewest things on it and cancel them all to give myself a day off.  That was painful.  At least today I was able to do that for myself.  Moving forward I'd like to see me schedule regular R&R in advance.  Proactively.  Intentionally.  With an understanding and simple love of self that appreciates my need for down time.  As if labor unions didn't do a valiant enough job establishing the weekend, for gawd's sake. 

What will really be impressive is when I can maintain mycommitment to self in light of a lucrative work offer or flattering date proposal.   I'd never cancel or reschedule on someone as flagrantly as I do myself.  Oy.  I hope this time I've really learned this lesson.

Tipe Introvert Sensing Feeling Judging (ISFJ) - Defender, apakah itu?

ISFJs are traditional, loyal, quiet and kind. They are very sensitive to other people's needs because they are very observant. They have rich inner thoughts and emotions. They value stability and cultural norms. They are very adept at giving attention to detail. They do not seek positions of authority.

sebenernya sebagian besar dari hasil tes itu sudah bisa kuduga. hanya satu yg di luar perkiraan, sekarang aku lebih bertipe feeling daripada thinking, meskipun masih balance, beda dikit persentasenya ma thinking, hm... kupikir diriku adalah orang yang logis hehe

Dan pekerjaan yang cocok dengan tipe ISFJ - Defender salah satunya adalah jenis pekerjaan yang kujalani sekarang, jadi harusnya aku bahagia dengan kondisiku sekarang, bekerja sesuai dengan kepribadian, bahagiakah diriku sekarang? :)

Today, another friend was talking about our church friend who is at a "down" moment from all his thinking. I learnt later on that he was actually leaning towards a melanchiolic person, and right after our breakfast, I began to wonder:

Why is it that thinkers tend to be melancholic? Well, yes I'm a thinker too and sometimes I do get melancholic or in other words, mildly depressed by my own thoughts. But, why is that so? Is it all that we think about make us look into the future gloomily?

However, as the blog title states, is there such a thing as an opposite of  melancholy or rather, what is the word used to describe a person who is a thinker (most likely introvert) who thinks and makes their thoughts make them happy?

And then imagine - but you may not have to, in fact. You may actually be someone like this. I know I am. I'm talking about being an introvert.

Ever since Carl Jung first coined these terms in the early 20th century (and especially since the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator was developed in the 1940s) introversion and extraversion have been used to describe two psychological polarities, which both come with a variety of traits and personal preferences.

We introverts are generally said to be more concerned with our inner world of thoughts and feelings than we are with the external world. We tend to enjoy our own company, feel frazzled after excessive socialising, and need to "recharge" by being alone for a while. We may prefer a few close friendships to a multitude of shallower relationships.

Extraverts, on the other hand, tend to be more attuned to the physical world around them, might dislike being alone, and thrive on plentiful interaction with others.

There is some scientific evidence to support this divide; for instance, a 1999 study found that patterns of blood flow in the brain differed according to whether the person tested was basically an introvert or an extravert. There are also theories (such as the "Big Five") which suggest that people are scattered along a continuum, with a few people at the absolute extremes and "ambiverts" occupying the centre.

If we introverts are generally in a minority, then, what sort of challenges do we face? Are we less successful than extraverts? Are we poorer? Are we less happy?

I would argue that our main challenge is not directly to do with money, status, success or happiness.

It's true that an extravert is generally more vocal (for example in classrooms and business meetings) and tends to receive more attention from teachers, when in school, and managers, when at work. But an introvert is generally more patient, methodical and diplomatic - being able to engage your brain before opening your mouth to speak, is also a definite advantage. Career-wise, I'd say it was pretty much a level playing field.

There is a high proportion of introverts who are also gifted, including such people as Albert Einstein and Bill Gates. Being an introvert is clearly no barrier to academic or financial success.

Are we happy? Some studies relate extraversion and a full social calendar to happiness, but I'm wondering whether this has just as much to do with self-awareness (or the lack of it) as it does with actual emotions. "Are you happy?" might elicit different answers from introverts and extraverts, just as the answers to "Are these two boxes green?" might depend on whether that person was colour blind or not. I would generally describe myself both as an introvert and as a very happy person, so perhaps that's my bias showing.

No, I think the main challenge we have is linked to the fact that since the concepts of introversion and extraversion entered general public usage, these words have gathered meanings and connotations that were originally absent.

Consider the word "introverted", when used in the media to describe someone. What sort of attributes might that person have? Chances are, the intention is to depict him or her as being a loner, socially awkward, not functioning well in society. Incidentally, there are words relating to extraversion which definitely have a positive bias (especially in Anglo-Saxon cultures), such as "outgoing", which implies that person is pleasantly sociable and well-adjusted, also "gregarious" and "lively". Compare these with "quiet", "shy", "solitary".

A "lively" person is surely a happy member of society. But a "quiet" person? Hmm... There might be a problem here.

It seems to me that when a word is generally used, it often reflects the attitude of the majority. Just as a "black" day is a bad one, a "quiet" person sounds like someone who could be troubled, shy or insecure. This is understandable, if you consider that an extravert with deep problems might well be subdued and uncommunicative.

Being "quiet" thus has certain connotations, in most people's minds. "Not talking? What's wrong?"

It is clear to me why an introvert growing up in an extravert-oriented world, without being aware of the whole introversion/extraversion issue, would feel like a fish in the wrong pond. He or she might be labelled "shy", because extraverts sometimes have difficulty understanding the important difference between shyness and introversion (a shy person avoids social contact out of fear, an introvert might do so out of personal preference.)

He or she would be seen, not as a normal introvert but essentially as a failed extravert.

This was basically me as a child. My school reports always labelled me as "quiet" (although I actually did quite well, academically.) I grew to think of myself as shy, self-conscious, rather inadequate socially. It has only been recently, as a middle-aged person, that I have become much more comfortable with who I am, and have accepted the fact that although I often enjoy the company of others, I need time alone to recover and renew myself, and there is nothing "the matter" with me because of that.

My message to fellow introverts who are still struggling to come to terms with yourselves is this. Know who you are. Listen to your inner nature, and instead of assuming that there is something wrong with you, learn to accept and love yourself unconditionally. Play to your strengths. And change the way you see yourself, not as an ugly duckling - but as a fledgling swan.

Alex Cull, 15th February 2008

(Another article for Helium.com, doing fairly well in the ratings at the moment.)

The Introvert-Extrovert Test
says that I'm Balanced

---

What does it mean?

You are fairly balanced in your introvert-extrovert personallity. You like going out, but like to have time to yourself as well. You typically have a few great friends, and many that you can hang around with.

Extroverts:
-have motives and actions that are directed outward.
-are more prone to action than contemplation.
-are typically very friendly to unknown people.
-feel empowered in social situations.

Introverts:
-have motives and actions that are directed inward.
-tend to be preoccupied with their own thoughts and feelings.
-minimize their contact with other people.

Wah...ternyata gw orang yang seimbang nih...tehehe...padahal gw kira hasil testnya gw adalah introvert :D Secara gw jarang ngungkapin isi hati gw :lol:

Nih ada satu lagi...hasilnya bagus lagi... :mrgreen:

The Colour Test
Youre inner colour is: You are sunny

---

What does it mean?

You are bright and you are a wonderfull friend that is nice to all sorts of different people so keep it up and you will have tons and tons of friends as you get older

Huahahaha...ternyata gw orang baek yak... :mrgreen:

]]> http://dunongkalye.wordpress.com/?p=8 Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:56:27 +0000 dunongkalye http://dunongkalye.wordpress.com/?p=8 I've been in the IT security field for quite some time now. At one point, it became clear to me that "PARANOIA" indeed is the driving force of this business. Not so rudimentary I suppose, let me try to make my point clear.

For years, companies big and small, spend whopping amounts of moolah just to keep their systems safe from intrusion. I should know because that’s what I help prevent daily from 9 to 5. This urge to isolate essential data has been the response to today's edge in every business.. Information, hiding and sharing portions of it thereof, dictates the rise and fall of any established system, may it be accounting, learning firms, documentation of newly developed technology or even a simple lists of contacts of people, name it. Every drop of leaked information may seem negligible for the source’s standpoint, but damn, how priceless would it be if a competing entity grabs a hold of it.

The "hole" that leaked the drop is discovered. "Exploitation of a flaw" has its own field of art. Like sharks agitated by the smell of even just a drop of blood, competition would crave to wanting more, until all there is left are bones and scavenged flesh.

On technical jargon, most of this "blood draining" happens on system entry and exit points called "ports". Although there are other means, ports are basically the super obvious targets for attackers (eavesdroppers are of a safer species), these are where most of the data communication actions come to play. There are many, and all ports are numbered (port 20 is for FTP, port 80 is for HTTP etc.).There is an option however to just shut it all down, but what good is a system if its not connected to anything (duuhhh).

Systems cannot afford to disconnect itself from the world, doing so will make itself useless, just a pile of very expensive paperweight. On the other hand, it can and will be exposed to vulnerabilities if it communicates with other systems. Simply "belonging" to a network group or even being under a host server will require it to spill out at least some information about itself, and what it holds, and a part of what it can do sooner or later. Like some social groups are to people, networks require a piece of that connecting system, or an operation that it can perform, before it could really be integrated into the circle.

It’s basically a matter of which ports are to be left open, and which ones should be disabled. Even the safest of ports would fall on its knees if attacked using the right technique. That's why administrators and businesses have been paranoid to what could and could not happen, information passing through is quadruple checked even if it involves unnecessary data. Costly protection schemes and devices are implemented at a whim, as restoration is impossible if attacks are carried out in just seconds. Outside threat or inside job, anyone can attack you.

There is no real fail-safe mechanism. Survival depends on seeing catastrophe before it happen. Intuition, doubts, and instinct, paranoia is indeed a great factor.

Now, what does that leave us with? Is information technology eventually gearing towards the spectrum of social engineering? Or are we just paranoid about it, too much that we treat situations happening around us as extensions of our subconscious minds.

Where are you right now?

Who have you been talking to?

What have you been saying?

Acceptance is not universal, nor it is absolute. All there is..is the truth that you are vulnerable. As the ironic saying goes, if you keep treating yourself as a loner, no one would care, because no one would know until you let them see that you are. That's why no man is an island. It's the risk that comes with communicating.

Which of your ports are open?

But, funny enough, I've discovered that I'm an introvert only in the real world. In cyberspace, I can be quite the extrovert. I suppose that's because, unlike in the real world, I can simply turn everyone off with a flick of a switch. Or, a click of the mouse...

Caring for Your Introvert

The habits and needs of a little-understood group
by Jonathan Rauch

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly. Science has learned a good deal in recent years about the habits and requirements of introverts. It has even learned, by means of brain scans, that introverts process information differently from other people (I am not making this up). If you are behind the curve on this important matter, be reassured that you are not alone. Introverts may be common, but they are also among the most misunderstood and aggrieved groups in America, possibly the world.

I know. My name is Jonathan, and I am an introvert.

Oh, for years I denied it. After all, I have good social skills. I am not morose or misanthropic. Usually. I am far from shy. I love long conversations that explore intimate thoughts or passionate interests. But at last I have self-identified and come out to my friends and colleagues. In doing so, I have found myself liberated from any number of damaging misconceptions and stereotypes.

Now I am here to tell you what you need to know in order to respond sensitively and supportively to your own introverted family members, friends, and colleagues. Remember, someone you know, respect, and interact with every day is an introvert, and you are probably driving this person nuts. It pays to learn the warning signs.

What is introversion? In its modern sense, the concept goes back to the 1920s and the psychologist Carl Jung. Today it is a mainstay of personality tests, including the widely used Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened or self-excoriating in social settings; introverts generally are not. Introverts are also not misanthropic, though some of us do go along with Sartre as far as to say "Hell is other people at breakfast." Rather, introverts are people who find other people tiring.

Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone. They often seem bored by themselves, in both senses of the expression. Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and he will reach for his cell phone. In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge. My own formula is roughly two hours alone for every hour of socializing. This isn't antisocial. It isn't a sign of depression. It does not call for medication. For introverts, to be alone with our thoughts is as restorative as sleeping, as nourishing as eating. Our motto: "I'm okay, you're okay—in small doses."

How many people are introverts? I performed exhaustive research on this question, in the form of a quick Google search. The answer: About 25 percent. Or: Just under half. Or—my favorite—"a minority in the regular population but a majority in the gifted population."

Are introverts misunderstood? Wildly. That, it appears, is our lot in life. "It is very difficult for an extrovert to understand an introvert," write the education experts Jill D. Burruss and Lisa Kaenzig. (They are also the source of the quotation in the previous paragraph.) Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people. They are as inscrutable as puppy dogs. But the street does not run both ways. Extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome. They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone; indeed, they often take umbrage at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to barking and yipping.

Are introverts oppressed? I would have to say so. For one thing, extroverts are overrepresented in politics, a profession in which only the garrulous are really comfortable. Look at George W. Bush. Look at Bill Clinton. They seem to come fully to life only around other people. To think of the few introverts who did rise to the top in politics—Calvin Coolidge, Richard Nixon—is merely to drive home the point. With the possible exception of Ronald Reagan, whose fabled aloofness and privateness were probably signs of a deep introverted streak (many actors, I've read, are introverts, and many introverts, when socializing, feel like actors), introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics.

Extroverts therefore dominate public life. This is a pity. If we introverts ran the world, it would no doubt be a calmer, saner, more peaceful sort of place. As Coolidge is supposed to have said, "Don't you know that four fifths of all our troubles in this life would disappear if we would just sit down and keep still?" (He is also supposed to have said, "If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it." The only thing a true introvert dislikes more than talking about himself is repeating himself.)

With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. "People person" is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like "guarded," "loner," "reserved," "taciturn," "self-contained," "private"—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain. We tend to think before talking, whereas extroverts tend to think by talking, which is why their meetings never last less than six hours. "Introverts," writes a perceptive fellow named Thomas P. Crouser, in an online review of a recent book called Why Should Extroverts Make All the Money? (I'm not making that up, either), "are driven to distraction by the semi-internal dialogue extroverts tend to conduct. Introverts don't outwardly complain, instead roll their eyes and silently curse the darkness." Just so.

The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

How can I let the introvert in my life know that I support him and respect his choice? First, recognize that it's not a choice. It's not a lifestyle. It's an orientation.

Second, when you see an introvert lost in thought, don't say "What's the matter?" or "Are you all right?"

Third, don't say anything else, either.

Special Heads

Name: Matt M. Cipov

Shop Name: Matty 80 80

Blog/Website: www.mattcipov.com (in need of a major update!!!)

Location: I live in Milwaukee, Wisconsin USA... born, raised and intent on staying

A little bit about Matt:
I have always been an introvert and an art fiend. Art, horror movies and music have been my three main motivational forces ever since childhood and I never have been able to picture myself as anything but a professional artist, or designer. I live in Milwaukee, WI with my wife Lynda and my son Max and I really enjoy the art scene around here and it has been a goal of mine to get more involved in local art. Before I became self employed, I spent several years as a t-shirt designer for a big company. Before that I worked in the graphics and signage department of a retail chain. And going way, way back, I was just an awkward guy going to art school and working at a cool little music store.

Nowadays I work on lots of things for bands, take on commissions for people, sell art, work on personal projects and take on a couple of solo and group art shows when I can find the time. Work is often totally different from week to week and I value that very much.

What do you sell that would appeal to the guys?
In a lot of senses, I am not a "mans man" I am not into sports, I don't drink or party and I am not handy with tools, or machines (unless you count computers and the Nintendo Wii). But I love things like monsters, zombies and goons. My love for horror films, gore, weird things and weird people and all sorts of beasts are probably a good way to get the attention of other guys. Blood, guts, horns, claws, rot and weirdness might not be for everybody, but a lot of guys do seem to like it. And that makes me feel less like a completely square wuss.

Shark Masks Print

Where do you sell your stuff?
Etsy is the main place I sell my art. I also have art and prints at a variety of international brick and mortar shops and online boutiques. Lately I have been getting more and more involved in art/craft events that take place all around the country. ICE in Atlanta, GA,  Renegade in Chicago, IL, Art VS. Craft in Milwaukee, WI and several other events are really cool places to go to because I get to put huge batches of art together, get out of my house and meet with people in the flesh. It is always cool to talk with people and get to know them a bit.

How long have you been in business?
I have been fully self employed since late 2005.

How did you get started?
When I was still an avid blogger I noticed that requests for art commissions for prints of my drawings were increasing. At the same time, my love for my corporate desk job was greatly decreasing. It made me feel very motivated to take a big risk and attempt self employment. I kicked it around for a few months, got my energy back, put together a website and took on commissions and requests as they filtered in. By late 2006 I finally got motivated to open an online store at Etsy and it was at that point I saw the true possibilities of working on my own. Ever since then I have been fortunate to meet all sorts of rad people, get work from a lot of bands and projects and have a heck of a good time doing it.

How do you get the word out about your shop?
In a sense, I let things develop rather organically. I like dealing with people on a one-on-one basis and I feel it is my duty to give them the best service I can muster. I don't shout about my art from the mountain top, partly because that is not my sort of thing to do and also I am too busy being an artist, a husband and a dad to shill myself too much. I find that the more I let my art speak for itself, and let the people who buy things from me promote me in any way they see fit. I also have had some very awesome people step up and help me very much. These things work out quite well. I am much happier letting a reputation build naturally rather than by me meddling with things too much and forcing things upon people. I love making art and helping people get art and I hope these things show.

Zombie Studies Series

What's your creative process?
I don't really enjoy overly planning, or sketching before I work on art. It always seems like the more I massage an idea, the less playful, or simplified my final art becomes. I like to keep things simple and I enjoy using the most minimal of materials to convey as much as I possibly can. If I can say what I have on my mind with basic white paper and some ink, I'll do that. Sometimes I will use various cardstocks as my surface, or cardboard, and I will introduce things like cut paper, paint pens, stampers, or even stickers I pull out of the insides of shirts at retail stores... these materials have become something of a calling card for me and they are easy to use, easy to travel with and come in such a large variety of styles and ways of application that I can't really see myself growing tired of what I use when I work. And that is important to me because if I tire of what I do, or what I use when I draw, it'll probably begin to show in the art.

What do you want people to know about your work?
I am not a brooding artist. I am also not the type of person who makes art burdened by subtext and themes. I make art because I love doing it. The result of that is art that is made for the love of lines, ink, drawing, experimenting, rendering and weird ideas that I try to commit to paper as fast as I can.

I am not concerned about trends; I do not eagerly follow any sort of scene and try to think of ways to cram myself into it. I just make art when I really feel like I should. And when the process goes well, it really makes me feel happy. When you add to that the chance that people might feel attracted to something I make, it motivates me to make more art and try new things.

Aside from that, I adore the process of sending art to people and I love adding secret extra things to packages. You can always expect additional prints, drawings, or stickers to be sent along with anything you buy from me. Mail itself is something of an art form and things like text messages, and emails have really put a dent in the amount of mail people send. I'd love to change that.

Agent Print

Anything else you'd like us to know?
I love making art. I love hearing from people. And I have never broken a bone my entire life.

Last night I was out with a friend of mine and some of his co-workers. He (trying to keep the friend anonymous) invited me to come along to a cook out that his company was invited to. The friend is in the cupcake baking industry, and the bbq was put on by a local production company that they have worked with in the past (He doesn't really work for a cupcake baking company). In an effort to not be exposed, I had to come up with a story for who I was and why I was there. Fortunately, he is a good friend and did all the talking for me. I made sure to keep food and drink at my face whenever someone came over as to appear unable to talk. I also had shades on, which made me look slightly unapproachable. Had anyone asked about the shades in the evening, I simply would have said "allergies".

I noticed the type of personality it takes to be in either of those industries, or even in my industry for that matter. Everybody was extremely social and talkative. One older woman was uncomfortably social, as I can only imagine the type of scenarios she was in during her younger days. She is probably related to Debbie who did Dallas.

But as I observed all the dialogue and energy, I stood quietly and comfortably chillin'. Not just because I didn't want to be exposed as a perpetrator, but also because of my natural demeanor in an unfamiliar environment. Later in the night, I was reminded of my introverted personality again when I was told I couldn't get into a "grown and sexy" function because of my crisp, but white shoes. It's funny though, because I probably make more money and have a better job than the poser who was working the door.

Rather than fight to get in, I was comfortable chilling outside for a bit and engaging in casual chitter chatter with people that came up to me.

"Oh, I wasn't sure what type of person you would be because you seem so quiet right now compared to everybody else."- What a surprise that I heard a comment like this. The story of my life. Great.

It probably worked out better that I couldn't get in. It was 1030 at night, I had been on the phone all day, and I was at my second social function. My energy was low, and I remembered again...I'm definitely an introvert. So when I got home, I happened to be randomly googling and came across a pretty good psych write up that explains how "we" tick. I was going to just post it, but I figured that would be copyright infringement and I would get booted from this site and lose all my valuable entries. Check out the link below. I promise, it isn't a password phisher or link to a sketchy website. I would never hurt you. I love you. (Pause and Just Kidding. )

http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_introvert