The end result is that I feel pretty good about my ability to manage a household.
Self esteem raise. Almost as good as a pay check. Maybe even better really.

Anyway, now I know alhamdulillah that if ever we were to move back to the US, I could
insh'allah manage to homeschool the kids.

Here is the schedule:
So basically, before lunch is arabic/Quran time and after lunch is English time and
Math time.

For arabic, I made flash cards myself. I just got a bunch of paper out of a notebook,
and cut each piece into four parts length wise. And on each smaller piece, I
wrote the arabic letter on the right, and drew a picture on the left. I tried to stick
to pictures of objects he likes and is familiar with.

It was good fun for me to make the flash cards. Something fun. I am also realizing
that teaching is really mentally stimulating for me. So I look forward to it.

Today, for painting and Arabic, Mary was taking a nap and Budi and I sat out on the
balconey. It was breezy and relaxing. That made making flash cards that much more fun.
Bud was very excited to work w/ the flashcards and could literally -hardly- wait
for me to finish making them.

Starfall.com which is what I'm using for English now is really nice. It's not the
montessori method and it is not the other method from the book "teach your child
how to read in 100 easy lessons".  That book was definitely boring him and he was
not enjoying working on the lessons.

So I decided that I had to switch to something he would find enjoyable. Starfall is
great because it is very interactive and he will fight to keep going.

I am also training him in other areas. After baba comes home, I've asked him that
after greeting Baba, he is to help him take off his shoes, put the socks in the laundry
and give him his slippers. Something W could just as easily do himself, but it teaches
him to help his father.

I also try to have him put away some things in the fridge after dinner or lunch
so he knows that he has a responsibility to help also.

I am reading a book 'preschool wise' and it talks about something called the 'Choice
Addiction'. This is basically where your child doesn't really listen to you and is
always wanting another choice. And the bottomline is that your child is not very
accepting of your authority.
 
They suggest that you train your child to be comfortable at heart with accepting you
as an authority and to realize that they are still young and have certain freedoms.
If you grant too much freedom too soon, your child will be 'wise in their eyes' where
they come and tell you at 4, that they are going to do such and such, instead of
ASKING you to do such and such. It's subtle but having your child ask you is much
more appropriate for this age.

So alhamdulillah I did a little test on Bud to see if he is addicted to choice. And
alhamdulillah he wasn't. Not that their test is divine or something, but I am glad
to know that he is following basic directions without fussing and whining. Once
I know that he is able to follow my guidance, I am comfortable in giving him choices.

...and there's lots of

things I'd love to buy you, Kid.

1. Such as this 'iPood' babygro. It's far too cute. And it's available in blue as well. This really made me snort while I laughed. Iwould need to get you18months + because you're getting so big. Available here. Also the 'dont bother me, I'm downloading' babygro is classic.

2. A baby activity pool. Because, seriously, how cool is this? And we all know how much of a water baby you are! By the way, the site says: water not included!

3. A Nooboo Pound-A-Sound Activity set - beat the crap out of the toy with a hammer, to hear the music/noises . You'd be in heaven.

4. Easy PC Keyboard. Because I know how much you love bashing away on the laptop I have. And how much you love to stand in front of the PC and switch it on and off repeatedly.
5. Learning Puppy. I bought one of these for your cousin, and you were with me. You absolutely loved this thing, and cried when I took it away from you. Making me feel like such a bad mommy because I didn't buy you one as well. You loved pressing his hand/foot/tummy and listening to the puppy talk and sing to you.
But....yup, you guessed it. I'm probably going to buy you nappies and formula. Because that's what broke bad mommies do. Sorry my love. ;)

I wonder if I should practice when hubby is at home.

Ahh frazzled.

Completely frazzled.

So you drive home.  Or should you go to the pharmacy first?  But wait! I don't want my kid on drugs! But maybe it will make life easier.  What should we do? What should we do?

Well, all I can tell you is what we did.  I hit the library and started reading.  And I also talked to other people in the "special needs" world and soon realized I needed to consult more than just one doctor.  And between you, me and the fencepost, that doctor ticked me off with how quick he rattled off ADHD while writing a prescription for a scheduled drug.  (Meaning, a highly regulated drug.)

I read about ADHD.  Asperger Syndrome. Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Pervasive Development Disorder-Not Otherwise Specified.  Fine Motor Dysfunction. I read Christian books, New Age books that dealt with "differences."  I read about alternative treatments and medications.  I would have consulted a Shaman if I had the opportunity.  No, I didn't give up my faith in Christ...I was a woman on a mission.

I read more.  I experimented with diets and herbal supplements.  Snake oils and magnetic blankets.  And yep--we tried a few prescriptions----but not for very long.  We prayed.

And my big helpful juicy tidbit that I learned: There are no magic formulas.  Nikken may have helped your second cousin's step nephew....but I wouldn't plunk my money down for that $600 mattress unless you would have anyway.  And I don't care what the dreadlocked clerk at Wild Oats tell you----Dr. So and So's 100% Natural calming homeopathy *may* have marginal effect but nothing in the miracle department.

I DID learn that for SOME children, a gluten intolerance can be a culprit behind some kids' autism.  (Read "Unraveling the Mystery of Autism" to learn more.)  I also began wondering about the environmental factors that may or may not be helping.  I also learned that a good occupational therapist is worth their weight in a Valium.  (Because some of their suggestions just may bring peace to your home.)

But the bottom line---if you haven't done so already---it's time to get to work on your PhD in (Fill in your child's name here) Studies.

And once again....this is getting too long for a blog.  More tomorrow in between my painting project!

Proverbs 15:4 The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

There is an element of power in our words and it’s not accidental. Our Creator has shaped our hearts and souls to be impacted by the words of others.  It’s part of your design.

I'm not even going to pretend to understand this spiritual principle but you certainly can't ignore it. The words that come out of our mouth float through the air and land on souls impacting the course and direction of their life.

GOD HAS DESIGNED THE HUMAN SOUL WHERE YOUR WORDS WILL EITHER DESTROY OR BUILD UP ONE ANOTHER.

Knowing this I want to ask you: Who has God placed in your life and what do they need to hear you say.

Husbands what does your wife need to hear you say?

Wives what does your husband need to hear you say?

Parents what do your kids need to hear you say?

What do your employees, friends, neighbors need to hear you say?

EVERYONE needs healing and your words can bring the healing they so desperately need.

We ended the service with this awesome video Matt put together.

So let's hold each other accountable. Who needs to hear something from you? What do they need to hear?

Neither of us want RockerTot to be alone when we're gone.  RockerBoy lives with his mother so the boys may not grow up as close siblings.  We don't want a huge age gap between RockerTot and (alleged)RockerBaby (and we're not getting any younger, either).

I know it will all work out one way or another, but it's a big topic here.  I just asked RockerDad if we could put off discussing it until after the first of the year.

I was wrong.

Mare was picked to kick a penalty ball after a little girl from the other team forgot she wasn't the goalie and tried to pick up the ball.  Keep in mind this is not the pre-select team.  Those girls would never make a fundamental mistake like that.  This was just the regular old CYC team that every Catholic in St. Louis grows up playing for.  If they happen to be a good player, they usually play select as well, but most kids don't let their school/church team down by quitting - they just miss most of their CYC games since select takes precedent.  This of course makes for some rather erratic planning on the coaches part, but whatever.

I thought I was going to come out of my skin when I realized that the coach had picked Mare.  And the beauty of it was that it was a doozy of a kick, powerful, catching some air as it sailed into the goal.  We were thrilled - our kid needed that.  Mare just about floated off the field and didn't stop smiling for the rest of the day.

Bird didn't score at her game, but she did put out a lot of effort.  This was amazing in and of itself because I spent 30 minutes prior to her game begging her to put on her uniform and get out there and play.  She didn't want to because it was too hot and the field is too big this year.  I told her this was the last-year-EVER-so-help-me-God, but she needed to get her rear out there that day because her team was counting on her.  She finally did and played pretty hard in spite of the drama.

I was tired after the games and just wanted to get the promised ice cream and go home.  I couldn't think of a nearby Dairy Queen, so we ended up at Oberweis.  We ordered a banana shake, a banana split and a scoop of vanilla in a chocolate dipped waffle cone.  The bill was $17 and some change.

Only in the US, people.

Most babies will experience some form of discomfort during this time and they can also get various different symptoms such as diarrhea, fever and so on.

It is during this period that sleep is often disturbed and this can be a very stressful time for the parents.

Some babies will also start refusing their food as they associate it with the pain that they are experiencing from their new teeth coming through.
Swelling of their gums and the associated sensitivity also makes eating more unpleasant.

Along with this lack of sleep and an unwillingness to eat many babies become irritable during teething and will cry a lot more than normal.

The teething can bring associated problems as there is more saliva in the mouth and this gets swallowed.
The increase in saliva makes the baby's stools a lot looser and this in turn can cause diarrhea.

The diarrhea then creates the problems of an increase in the incidence of diaper rash which only adds to the problems that you and your baby have to cope with during this time.

Some parents and babies get through this period with little difficulty at all but most will regard this as one of the most unpleasant times of bringing up a child.

If your baby has a high temperature this can be caused by the teething but you should always take your baby to the doctor if this happens as it could be some other medical problem and not related to the teething at all.

Also, monitor your baby's weight as a reluctance to eat might cause it to start losing weight.

parenting tips

parenting tips

parenting tips

parenting tips

Even a very small baby will rub his eyes when he gets tired. He’ll yawn; perhaps he’ll get fussy. As children get a little older, their activity levels may pick up as they get tired and try to avoid sleep.

Try to keep to regular nap times during the day. If you’re baby is napping 3 times a day, then a mid-morning, early afternoon and late-afternoon nap is appropriate for a baby with a 7:30 or 8 PM bed time.

Often babies get tired towards dinner time, and then parents are faced with a dilemma. Do you let the baby sleep and risk not getting to sleep at bedtime? Or you do you try to keep him awake through dinner and perhaps put him to bed a little bit earlier?

Most parents will opt for trying to keep the baby awake a little longer in favor of keeping to a regular bed time. But if it’s been a busy day for the little guy, let him have a very short nap and then wake him up gently for dinner or a feeding and some light play before putting him to bed for the night.

Remember to make rituals for naps as well as bed time so your baby gets used to sleeping at regular times.

parenting tips

parenting tips

You need to understand that every child is different and while some children can go to sleep easily and sleep for long periods of time others can be quite restless and wake often while sleeping very little. It is possible that your child sleeps for longer than the average, or shorter than the average, but is still getting the sleep he or she needs.

Provided a child is contented don't be overly concerned about sleep patterns initially as they will in time become more regular unless there are some other conditions that need to be checked by your doctor.

You can try to make your life a little easier by getting your child to go to sleep without requiring undue attention from yourself as this will make your life a lot easier in the longer run.

As you get into more regular patterns with your own life your child will adapt also and this will make life a lot easier and more contented for both of you.

If your child is crying consider what might be causing the discontent but don't be overly concerned as often it is just the way of communicating.

The time you spend with your child is very valuable to its development but it will also require time on its own to be able to amuse itself and be contented without you being around all the time and this is a gradual process that you need to work towards.

Toys can help to keep your child amused and while you don't need to go overboard on the expenditure on toys it is well worth buying a few just to free up some of your own time.

By associating specific actions with sleep it becomes a lot easier for your child to go to sleep so try to be as regular as possible with the various different events that lead up to sleep time.

parenting tips

parenting tips

In order to assist the baby with this transition their mouth will begin to change making it easier to cope with solid foods.

Up until this time the digestive system has only had to cope with the consumption of breast milk or baby formula so the process of moving towards solids needs to be a gradual one.
It is important however that you start introducing solids at this time as delaying the transition too long can hinder the baby's ability to swallow solid food initially.

In the early stages of your baby's development the breast milk or formula is sufficient for good nutrition and this balanced nutrition needs to be maintained when on solids so a variety of foods will assist in maintaining healthy nutritional requirements.

Along with the transition to solid foods comes additional expense in the form of bowls spoons and other utensils that are required for feeding the baby.

One thing that will make life a lot easier for you is if you have a food processor where you can blend of food to a consistency that is more easily digested by your baby.

Fortunately the price of food processors is relatively inexpensive these days and particularly if you buy them from any of the online appliance stores.

You will also be able to buy most of the products that you need for feeding your baby from the online baby stores at prices that are generally cheaper than you would find at your local stores.

One of the best solid foods to start your baby on is baby rice simply because is unlikely to cause any allergic reaction and can be readily mixed with other foods such as vegetables, fruit and potatoes which will blend nicely together and be easy to swallow.

parenting tips

parenting tips

If you’re feeding him baby food during the day, and decreasing bottles, make the last bottle feeding at nighttime. You can also have a bottle in the night to soothe him if he wakes up. Babies are teething at this time as well, and that can cause them to wake up in discomfort. You may be weaning the baby from breastfeeding, and that can be a difficult transition as well.

There are different schools of thought on handling babies who are a challenge to get to sleep. Some recommend letting the baby cry it out, but this is hard on the parents, especially on mom who may have been comforting and bonding with the baby all day long. It can see cruel to just let the baby cry himself to sleep. He’s just a little guy, after all.

Take extra care at this time to make sure the nursery is conducive to sleeping. Make sure his diaper is clean and his sheets are clean and soft. If he’s teething, use a topical pain treatment that’s safe for the baby. You can also invest in some homeopathic tablets that ease teething naturally. Make sure his nose is clear and not stuffy. If you use a foam wedge to keep the baby from sleeping on his stomach, sleep with a spare one night and then put that in his bed so that your scent is close to him at night.

Make sure the room isn’t too cold or too hot; keep a humidifier in the room to maintain a good moisture balance, especially in the winter when rooms can dry out. Your baby just might be stubborn about sleeping, but try to figure out if there are physical problems that you can alleviate first.

parenting tips

parenting tips

today, the bottle made it out of the cabinet and onto the counter, but i never had the energy to actually unscrew the lid.  oh well.  there is always tomorrow.  always.

To this atmosphere we bring our children. Bubble decides first to do a rubbing of the flocked wallpaper with black crayon. Squeak decides to smear chocolate on the new sofas. My brother stands looking at the scene of destruction and clicks and tuts. I spend most of the day running around mopping up the mess.

My childhood comes sharply back into focus. I remember my mother shouting at me for filling a paint palette up with rainbow colours to overflowing, spilling ink on the white carpet, dripping wax on the floor in the breakfast room. On the rare occasions when I invited friends back to my house, we would always manage to break a crystal vase or spill coffee on the carpet. My room was the only place where accidents could happen. But even that has now been obliterated.

Isn't it strange to return to one's place of childhood and find no remnant of yourself ever living there. My mother systematically cleared out everything from my bedroom and redecorated it the day I left home. This cleanse was her final push towards victory in the war she had always had with me over my 'pit', my sanctuary, the one thing she could never quite control. She made it into another guest bedroom, (along with my sister's and father's rooms) for guests she think might one day stay. No comforter or pillow remains that I recognize. It is now an empty shell, I feel as if I was never there.

All my climbing trees outside have been cut down, the mud and soil of my favourite digging holes landscaped over with gravel and fountains. The place where we kept rabbits filled in with a patio. All has changed. Nothing remains of those times; the happy, the desperate and horrific times. But although on the surface, it seems as if all has been forgotten, these events can never be totally erased from our minds, no matter how many layers of wallpaper one pastes on the walls.

I played hide and seek with Bubble in the afternoon, upstairs is a maze of rooms and corridors. I found a wardrobe when it was my turn and hid in it for ages. After a while, I turned and saw an incredible sight - lots of my things had been shoved in the back of it; sketchbooks and boxes of trinkets and letters and drawings. I started to look through them, mesmerized.

I pulled out a box of moths I had collected and another full of feathers. Drawings I'd done in Italy, photos of me in 80's style clothing. Letters to friends and my sewing box. Things I thought had been thrown away a long time ago. Bubble was fascinated. I pulled open other draws and cupboards and found reams of stuff, bulging out of every orifice.

Yesterday was a day of forgetting, a day of remembrance.

]]> http://rgkadet.wordpress.com/?p=13 Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:01:33 +0000 rkadet http://rgkadet.da.wordpress.com/2008/10/14/getting-started/ I moved to Vermont 13 years ago for my career assuming it would only be a stint for a few years. Now “settled” rural Vermont life is a part of me I never would have expected, but I love.

I was not “encouraged” as a child to be a hard worker, an independent woman. It was a mandate. I didn’t have a choice about going to college, it was a given. When on the verge of graduating, there was no time to think, a corporate job had to start so I could support myself. I don’t think anyone really asked me what I wanted to do, what I was interested in, what I was good at…..I just needed to start working. Once I did, every few years I did better and better and took on more responsibility and a nice paycheck. Even when my son was born in 2004, there was never a question that I would stop working…I just plowed on thinking I would be fine.

Fast forward…. I had been in a high stress job, working at home mostly but traveling to see clients. My son had a full-time caretaker while I worked at home or while I was out of town. This worked well for awhile…..until I just crashed this spring.

What tipped the balance:

-My son was getting older and could verbalize his frustration over why he never could do fun things with me, only his caretaker.

-My husband and I never saw each other—we had to travel at opposite times to take care of my son and each month our travel schedule was getting worse and worse.

-I had about 3 hours of sleep each night. There was no time during the day between taking care of my son and working to catch up on the overflow work—so that left 3 am to 6 am as the only option.

Yikes….and my friends and family think I have been a success…..not so in my mind….I felt I was on the Fast Track to Nowhere.

I really thought I could marry the corporate career balanced with my rural life and family.

I stopped working in late July. My son is in Pre-school a few hours a day and I’m hoping to take those few hours where I am alone to figure a few things out that I never had the option to do before….like….

What am I good at?

What am I interested in?

Can I actually do something for work that interests me?

What interests me enough to make a career out of it?

Is making a decent living, balancing work and family possible in Vermont or any rural setting?

How do we learn to live on less in the meantime?

There is so much on my mind that I hope to talk about on this blog and I hope others trying to figure this out too will provide perspective on the subject.

We are looking for part-time and full time Bloggers to add original content to our site. Articles will be published online and in print. Printed articles will be paid for depending on word count, subject and structure. We need contributes for : Business, Fun & Entertainment, Art & Design, Tips on staying green, Fitness, Parenting, Safety, and technology. The authors will have a full Byline and links to their personal and/or business sites.  Please Forward your inquires to Jobs@platinumbusinessalliance.com .

We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sorry to disappoint, but my username Buttmom refers to my superhero alter-ego.  When my oldest child was about 4 years old we lived next door to two little boys named Stephen and Zeb.  They were tow-headed stairsteps about 10 months apart.  They adored my son who was the same age as Stephen, the oldest brother. 

My son Austin and I would spend part of every day over at Stephen and Zeb's.  The boys would play while their mom and I would sit and talk.  After a couple of hours I would begin the process of getting Austin inside for his afternoon nap and he would always say the same thing, "But Mom, I am not finished building (insert name of building, road, treefort, mud restaurant here) yet", "But Mom, I want to play with Stephen and Zeb some more", "But Mom, I am not even sleepy!" 

One day Missy and I were talking and we decided if we ever became superheroes we could become Buttmom and her trusty sidekick 2MoreMinutes, because everytime she tried to get her kids to go in she was met with " Two more minutes mom.. please.. just two more minutes."  We were fasting than a speeding T-ball, able to leap tall Lego structures in a single bound, runny noses didn't stand a chance against our lightning reflexes.

As the years have gone by, my oldest still whines BUTTMOMMMMMM, when he wants something I am not easily giving in to.  But now I just smile when I hear it.

"Ok. Go pick one and bring it downstairs."

"But Mommy, I want you to come with me." She tugged on my hand.

"Ok honey, I'll be right there." I started to disentangle my legs from the throw pillows and blankets. Sunshine skipped over to the stairs. I took my feet off the coffee table, hauled myself up, and walked three feet to the steps. Then I stopped.

Sunshine was sitting on the third step, holding something in her hands, staring at it. She sat completely still.

I sat down next to her and looked over, just as she looked up into my face. Her blue eyes were filled with... pain. That's what it looked like, pain. It startled me. I glanced down at what she was holding. It was a picture of Moonbeam.

She glanced back to the picture, caressed it, and then looked up again. "Mommy," she said very quietly.

I felt like my breath had been knocked out of me. I felt helpless. "Yes?" I answered back quietly.

"Mommy, I want to see Moonbeam." The corners of her mouth were turned down, her body was very still, and she held herself hunched over, curling inwards towards herself.

I hesitantly (because what if I was wrong? projecting? but I didn't think so, she'd brought this up on her own, her facial expressions and energy had changed instantaneously)--hesitantly asked her, "Are you sad, honey?"

She nodded and her shoulders relaxed and she looked me full in the face. Her lower lip barely, for the briefest of moments, trembled. My chest physically ached.

"Are you sad because you miss Moonbeam? Because she is your sister and you don't live in the same house?"

She nodded again. "We didn't see her in a long time. She's my sister. I want to see her. Can we see her? I want to talk to her." Her eyebrows were crinkled together.

I said, "Yes, you can see her. I'll call her mommy and ask."

"Do you know the number?" she asked me.

"Yes, I know it honey. I'll call soon and figure something out, okay?"

"Can she come over tonight?"

"No honey, she lives far away, it takes a while to arrange it so we can see her. And... Mommy is going on a trip for work tomorrow, so... I'll work on it when I get home from the trip, okay?"

Then she started to cry, but it was her normal, everyday cry, and she said she didn't want me to go on the trip and flung her arms around me. So we talked again about how many nights I'd be gone and what it would mean for her while I was gone. And then we talked a little about how if she wanted, Daddy could help her call Moonbeam on the phone tomorrow after school, and she could talk to her on the phone. Sunshine considered it, but ultimately decided, "No, I'll just talk to her when I see her." (Still, I later gave Matt a heads-up on the conversation so that if she changes her mind and wants to call tomorrow, he'll understand what she's talking about.)

And then she relaxed, her whole body relaxed, and some energy came back into her voice. She kissed the picture and started talking in chipper tones about how she wants to see Moonbeam's missing tooth (I had to explain the picture was several months old and that tooth had regrown by now--she didn't accept that so we left it at, "Well we'll find out if the tooth is missing when we see her.") And she chattered a teensy bit about how she loves Moonbeam and she likes playing with her and with Rain. And she told me she wants to take the picture to school tomorrow to put on the bulletin board, because she's Star of the Week this week and gets to do show-and-tell every day and gets to bring in pictures and decorate the bulletin board all about herself.

That was it. The entire conversation took maybe five minutes. But it shook me. I'm still shaken, writing it out now, my chest hurts again thinking about that look that was in her eyes. And I'm still half-wondering if I'm reading too much into it, if it wasn't that big a deal to her; but deep down I'm not wondering that at all, because I know her and can read her. And the look she gave me was the same one she gave me when, a few months ago, she astounded me by asking about the time I took her and left Matt and we went to my mother's for a week (two and a half years ago). She had the same look that time, one of deep sadness and uncertainty, like she knew she'd experienced something deep, something she shouldn't have had to, something with potentially earth-shifting repercussions.

So for the last few hours I've been putting together photograph montages for Sunshine to take to school to hang on the bulletin board tomorrow, and one entire page is entitled "My Big Sister" and is dedicated solely to Moonbeam. Later this week I'm going to make some phone calls and find a way to get Sunshine and Moonbeam together.

Let's start out with a brief overview.  I'm married, I have two children, ages five and 3, both boys.

Husband = R

Boy Five = RIC

Boy Three = A

For future refernce.

We were homeless for about a year before february of this year, and it wasn't due to no money coming in, I worked pretty much the whole time, most of it spent working at a relatively good paying job, but it simply was not enough to get into an apartment.  My credit sucks after a bad divorce (Let's call that particular ex M) and now with a massive amount of medical bills and other bills that piled up while I was sick ....sick being in chronic pain, on a massive amount of narcotics, and then having my kidney removed and still being in pain....in the middle of this also dislocating my right kneecap (nothing like seeing your knee SQUARE) while riding the bus because the bus driver didn't wait for me to sit down before taking off.... anyway, when I complained to the doctors that I was still in pain, they did not believe me.  they decided that I was simply addicted to the morphine and hydro they were giving me (and yes, i was dependent, true, but who wouldn't be after six months straight of being on them?).  I couldn't take care of myself, or the kids, R was scared to leave me alone with them because he wasn't sure I was capable of taking care of them at all in my condition...hence, we lost our apartment and ended up homeless.

My parents helped us get an apartment in my hometown, and it turned out to be a HORRID situation, causing health problems for my kids.  I saved up enough money to move out into a new apartment, but was stupid enough to use my landlord as a reference, not realizing she'd lie through her teeth about me as a tenant...we ended up living in a local motel until we were kicked out of there for the summer months (tourists more important than local homeless)...we bounced around from place to place, and eventually ended up moving out of my hometown, and in with my exboyfriend and his wife.

Let's call him X

Let's call her Y

they put us up in an awful trailer in the yard, better than the streets for sure, nice in the summer months, but hell in the winter months. 

It was the first time I'd seen either X nor Y since X and I had last seen eachother fifteen years ago.  We both regressed to past behaviors that we had when we were together, and I was severely miserable for the first month or so, but I got over it, and so did he, it seemed, and after that it got a lot better.  We stayed there for less than six months, and then were invited down to California, and this is where we are now.

I miss the northwest terribly.  It never rains here,  my business (selling Cookie Lee Jewelry) is really difficult here because there are SO many people here already doing it...and it's SO expensive here.  We are $300 short on rent, it's next to impossible to find a job (I am overqualifed even for the simplest jobs I try to get, and appear to be not qualified enough for the jobs that are more complicated).  I'm terrified right now that we will end up homeless again. I'm trying to sell jewelry to earn the money but it's doing no good. No one is buying. 

Additionally, to add to all of the madness, I suffer from bipolar disorder 1, rapid cycling hypomania. So I have that to deal with too.  Once a month psychiatrist appointments, a ton of medications that are doing god knows what to my body, and have taken away all my creativity that I used to have....If I didn't have kids, I'd say no to the meds and just deal with the craziness. But for my kid's sake, I take the meds.

May the Uni-verse ( One Song ) continue to provide, protect and surround you and those who are in your care with an ever present eternal love light. 

Bless you for all you have inspired.

Namaste

Citizen Soul Power

May the Uni-verse ( One Song ) continue to provide, protect and surround you and those who are in your care with an ever present eternal love light. 

Bless you for all you have inspired.

Namaste

Citizen Soul Power

I came across an article early about having a more natural, healthy home. It made me think about the things we've done to go 'green.' That led to thinking of the bigger picture, changing our lifestyle overall...but again, beyond the obvious.

In the last year, we've dropped some serious big bucks on these changes, mainly in the kitchen. We dumped every plastic storage item that had ever been nuked and gave the kids a lesson on how the only time food touches plastic is when we bring it home from the store or refrigerate it as a leftover. (Dh loves leftovers, and he didn't want to go glass...but I did impress upon him, or I hope I did, that he should dump it on the glass plate before he nukes it.) On top of the plastic went all our teflon-coated cooking pots and pans, covering them with all our plastic utensils. Then with all that newly created room, we were able to organize, recycle a boatload of odd kitchen gadgets we'll never use, and then we filled the space with stainless steel cookware with no coating or anything else unsafe. (And I'll never cook on anything other than cast iron or stainless steel ever again.) We also bought all new stainless steel utensils, and glass bakeware. And because I don't want to do good five days a week and blow it the other two, I even did the same with the RV.

Dh and I drink out of stainless steel refillable water bottles, aka canteens. Not only are they safer, but they keep our water colder much longer. And the money we save since we use filtered water. I pitched the Splenda packets and fake-sugar beverages and got really good at making really good tea. (Who knew there were so many flavors? I have yet to try the chocolate-infused tea that I bought at the new Fresh & Easy last week.) The kids don't re-use their water bottles, and they don't sit in a heated car or lunchbox. I'd get rid of water bottles altogether if I didn't think the kids would lose them by day 3. And at $11 a pop, it's not in keeping with the current economic climate.

We stopped using 'regular' store-bought cleaning supplies. I make homemade kitchen cleaner, window cleaner, and Lysol-type organic germ-killing cleaner. (The cost of the supplies to make a year's worth of these cleaners cost about the same as two months worth of store-bought stuff...I even re-used a squirt bottle I already had and only had to buy one.) We watch the types of candles we burn, I bought cloth cleaning supplies to re-wash rather than throw away, and I use cheap washcloths on my Swiffer sweeper. We use only organic pesticides on our vegetable and fruit garden (and our flowers) and I've increased my veggie garden in the hopes that I'll keep learning and eventually will have enough to seriously impact our grocery bill. Right now, it's only saving us the cost of a few tomatoes and a heck of a lot of basil. (And basil isn't like apples, it can't be a meal no matter what you do to it, so I have a long way to go.)

One thing literally led to another. A quest to keep my son and other kids healthier led to a house that's much better for our environment. Less toxins for the family, less waste and poison for the planet. I may not find a cure for autism, but I can at least keep the world safer for kids with autism now, or lessen the possibility that future babies will be exposed to toxins. There's so much more we could do -- if we were able to build a new house, we'd go with much greener supplies all around, and solar power would be a consideration, as it pays for itself in the long run.

Autism may have tossed our world upside down, but we're much better people for it...inside and out.

And what would Halloween be without a trip out east for pick-your-own pumpkins?

So, off we went on this warmer than usual October day, in search of the perfect orange globe. It was our family of 4, plus Nana and Papa, the wagon, and a huge picnic lunch. There was a farm just about every 50 feet it seemed. But I wanted to go to the one where we go for our berries in the summer. They have a corn maze and wagon rides, live music, mums, playsets...

As usual, we got started later than we'd hoped. Is it me? I can never get all the crap packed up in under 2 hours! Especially with 'C's special food needs. And it was the last day of the long beautiful holiday weekend. And the excitement was building as we passed all those homeward bound SUVs whose roof rack cornstalks seemed to be waving at us...

Wait, they weren't waving at us. They were mocking us.

After the eighteenth chorus of "Are we there yet?", we pulled into the dusty lot to find that... the pumpkins were picked through! Four days of beautiful fall weather and throngs of tourists had ravaged the fields of any worthy contenders. So... could I just settle on finding something acceptable for this year and making the most of the outing? Noooooo. (Mistake number one.)

Family...especially 'C' ... didn't appreciate being hustled back into the SUV so quickly to search for a less popular pumpkin patch. We get to another one. It's worse. (Mistake number 2.) But we get out and try to make the best of it.

It turns out its not a "pick-your-own from the vine where they are growing" place. Oh, no, no...

It's a "pick-your-own from the pile of pumpkins they trucked in from some other freakin state and just dumped haphazardly on this hill as if they grew here and no one would notice" kind of place! Ok, take a deep breath. At least I didn't have to worry about the inlaws tripping over vines and re-breaking their hip and leg, respectively.

'C' unfortunately, was not as into this adventure as I'd hoped. So, while the rest of the family picked out lame pumpkins, I spent the time there with him alternating between the goats' and turkeys' pens and the makeshift market for organic veggies, where we repeatedly walked up and down each aisle naming the 20 varieties for sale. Maybe it wasn't his autism that caused this detachment. Maybe he is genetically as into Halloween as his mom and he was just as disappointed in the pickins'.

Well, we didn't get the Great Pumpkin this year. We got some crappy, imported versions. And we got some gourds. And some mums. But, we did not  get any cornstalks. Oh, no. There will be no cornstalks.

We will not be mocked.