Just when I thought I lost the capacity to cry and hoorah, after La Vie en Rose failed to summons any tears, along comes Dreamgirls.

A film adaptation of a book and broadway musical, Dreamgirls tells the story of the phenomenal rise of The Dreams, a three-piece RnB group of the 1960s/70s. The story is loosely based around The Supremes — Diana Ross, Mary Wilson, Florence Ballard and (later) Cindy Birdsong. Instead, we have (respectively) Deena (Beyonce Knowles), Lorrell (Anika Noni Rose), Effie (Jennifer Hudson) and Michelle Morris (Sharon Leal).

But, Dreamgirls is more than just a story about The Dreams. It's the story of the move of Afro-American music into mainstream pop culture, timed as it were with the emerging civil rights movement and turbulent race relations of the time, which background the story. At the centre of this story is Curtis Taylor Jnr (Jamie Foxx), manager of The Dreams and based on Mowtown records founder Berry Gordy. The mainstream music industry throws up its own set of challenges, and its Curtis that manages this.

The film owes a lot to the Effie White character, based loosely upon Ballard. Like Effie, Ballard was originally the lead singer of The Supremes until the decision was made to lead with the soprano voice of Diana Ross. Like Effie, Ballard was resentful of the change and ultimately left the group following increasing alcoholism and no-shows at rehearsals. Cindy Birdsong replaced Ballard, who would pursue a brief solo career. In 1974, Ballard was invited to join The Supremes on stage at a special performance. This she did and, although she chose not to sing, her appearance drew ovations from the audience. Tragically, Ballard died two years later aged 32.

The other curious character in the film was Curtis Taylor Jnr, manager of The Dreams. Both groundbreaking and opportunistic, Curtis knows what hand to play and when. Curtis is a contrast to the 'I got soul' of James 'Thunder' Early (played by Eddie Murphy), who is fun, if not off-the-rails. This is a slightly darker side of showbiz, with the drugs and commerciality that has its own victims. Note the hat-tip to the Jacksons.

The other characters, however, were disappointingly flat. Some character development in Deena would have been appreciated — it wasn't until the pivotal song 'Listen' that some depth here came through, but too little too late.

There are a number of key songs in this movie for me, but my favourite was 'Listen', performed by Beyonce. I also thought Hudson's version of 'One Night Only' was fantastic and touching, but surprisingly absent from the soundtrack, as was her 'Love You I Do'. Hudson's hit song was 'And I am Telling you I am not Going' and to be honest, I just wished she did go when I heard this song. The scene and song would be better given to Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest, because Hudson was getting a little meldramatically monstrous.

There are some campy and well-choreographed pieces, notably 'Steppin' to the Badside' (another favourite) and The Dreams' performance of 'One Night Only', when the movie remembers that it is a musical in the same vain as Chicago. And a musical it is, as dialogue grows into shudderingly fantastic numbers.

I was pleasantly surprised by the movie, because the first half seemed relatively average. It was looking a lot like a slideshow of moments leading up to the rise of The Dreams, barely allowing me to take a breath — the switch between scenes was like being on a rollercoaster ride. The film needed to just sit with a few moments so they could resonate — a shame because there were some powerful moments.

Dreamgirls is a fun, glam picture, with great performances and numbers — just a little ambitious and glib. I cried, I clapped and I cheered, and for that I am grateful.

It was a really short and simple dream - started out with me driving some brand new car that I bought and my best friend was in the passenger seat - and her sister - my other best friend was in the backseat...I think she was with someone else back there but I don't remember - I think it was just the three of us.

So we're having fun in the car - blasting the radio and singing - and out of nowhere the passenger's door flies open and her arms and feet are sticking out - when I looked over to notice the fact that half of her body was hanging out - another vehicle hit us - I want to say it was a van.  I was ok - and I looked behind to make sure everyone else was alright - but I looked at my friend who was sitting beside me and she was all bloody and she was knocked out.  I couldn't make out much detail.

The dream sort of flash forwards on me - which I thought was sort of odd because I usually remember all the events that lead up to it - but it was like 5 seconds later BAM I was at the hospital.  They checked me and my other friend (the sister) out and again we were fine.  My friend that was obviously in a much worse situation was in the ER being operated.

The doctor finally comes out and tells us that her arm and leg (that was sticking outside the vehicle - had to be amputated.  I held her sister and we just cried, but we ended up doing a prayer that she was ok.

Just after that happened - there was a group of people walking towards me - I have never seen them at all in this dream until now - but I knew that they were the ones that hit us.  They were on their cell phone with their lawyers and were walking to a fax machine to get some legal documents - which I know right then they were trying to weasel their way out of this accident and not get in trouble.

I remember watching all of that unfold - and I grabbed my friend (the sister) and I marched right up to them and said, "Excuse me, I want to know who your Auto Insurance carrier is, and I would like to see your license and registration."  She got right up in my face and said, "I don't have to give you shit, you are not the boss of me."

By this time - I was so angry that I started seeing this red glow getting brighter around me and this lady - my whole body was tingling, and I clinched my fists tight.  I replied back (in a shouting voice), "Because of YOUR stupidity and carelessness on the road, MY BEST FRIEND now only has one fucking arm and one fucking leg.  I have a right BY LAW to retrieve your information and report it to the police.  YOU WILL not get away with this."

Then the rest of the people surrounding her started yelling at me to "fuck off" and I don't know what I am talking about.

I finally called for a police officer to show up at the hospital and explained the situation to him in complete detail and told him what they did to my best friend.  He preceded to handcuff the lady that I was in a shouting match with, and they threw her in jail.

Then the dream sort of fast forwards again and I am in court with my best friend who was much better - and had a prosthetic arm and leg so she can feel somewhat normal again.  I called the best lawyer in town and after that day in court we were all rewarded a huge lump sum of money.  I received 50,000 dollars to buy a new vehicle, and 500,000 for emotional distress.  My friend (the sister) received 500,000 for emotional distress...and my friend with the now prosthetic arm and leg - who I stood up for in this entire process - walked away with 5 million dollars to cover medical expenses and emotional distress.

So at least it ended somewhat on a good note and justice was served.  The dream was a real eye opener to me of how much I appreciate my best friends...we have been friends since 1994 - 14 years ago.  We're still very close friends - hell we consider each other to be brothers and sisters we did just about everything together.  I was so proud of myself after that dream that I stuck through it all, and made sure that my friends were getting what they deserved after the hell we all went through.

I don't know what city I was in but I want to say it was in my hometown. I was to be performing a concert of some sort in the middle of a cornfield (which my town has a lot of outside of the city), but it was this giant arena and packed full.

I think I was actually doing somebody's song that was famous - but I never really got to see who it was. The famous person was there singing the same song with me - I don't think it's a song that I actually heard in real life - but for some reason I knew what the lyrics were.

Anyway - I somehow ended up walking off the stage - with the microphone still in my hand and I was singing out to the field with nobody watching me - but they could still hear me singing. I wasn't singing that good either --I don't sing well I think.

I also think I was on drugs because I remember going back to the stage to continue singing whatever song I was singing and I kept forgetting the lyrics so I kept laughing and stumbling on stage like I was drunk...but the crowd was for some reason loving it and cheering me on.

If I only remembered the lyrics I would have written them down because I remember the song being somewhat prophetic.

Anyway, I'll leave it at that - I'll post some other dreams on here later that I've had

down: just bricks and ladders sinking into blackness. Fear had long since dissolved her peripheral memories of home. She sped her pace and glanced over her shoulder.
her dream like layers of fabric burned through and peeling away in the heat. The explosions above her had sparkled on the waves below.
glass tower. She'd lived there all her life...blood red walls and animal heads. Her gaze suffocated in the ink-thick night. Rain tapped and dragged nervous rivers down the glass. Past the empty fields was a place she knew she had to get to.
She took some beads on twine to remind her of the place, pushed the box back under the bed. Just before she left, as the big iron face glared in through her window, she set the walls on fire.
blue and white lights like gems in the sky - spinning, twinkling...they flew in strange formations. The sea below was lit up in black fire, churning, slow and steady.
like you could disappear in the screens and alleys, like currents of light and sound. Her legs were weak from walking; her neck was sore from twisting.
She swore she heard a pause in the drone of the engines as the shadow slipped between her and the light...a club, something in his hand. Shoulders high and square.
finally reached the street, but the lot was empty - there was nowhere to go but out into the night.

]]> http://othersideofthemirror.wordpress.com/?p=20 Sun, 18 May 2008 08:30:56 +0000 kennedee http://othersideofthemirror.da.wordpress.com/2008/05/18/my-grandfather/ i had a couple of dreams happen over the past few days regarding my grandfather.

you know - i never considered myself to be a very spiritual person - at least in my own mind.  i used to go to a baptist church when i was really young - and really only because my neighbors went there and they asked me to come with them - and i was friends with one of the kids.  growing up - i have really lost faith in religion when you see all of these scandals, and televangelists (sp?) on tv saying anything to get you to send them money.  some of these people just seem so franchised and fake that it makes me sick.

well in the past few years - i have decided to get more in touch with myself on a spiritual level - and determined to find the answers to my own question.  not the answers that one organized faith has per say, but finding things out for myself on a personal experience.

i will also have to admit that i am quite skeptical with the unknown and the other side a lot - more so with mediums and psychics.  one of the psychics i talked to the other day told me that it is very common to be skeptical of things that happen to other people because they never happened to you.

well i think i just got my first glimpse of what is to come.  yes my dream will be included in this story - but im trying to give you the full picture of what took place.

since going onto blogtalkradio.com and going to some of these shows with free readings by some of these psychics and mediums, i have been quite intrigued with how things worked out.  i got a reading from someone a couple of months ago that really didn't make me quite pleased.  i called in to ask a specific question about spirit guides - and they jolted me into the territory of my health - and they were so stuck on my apparent health issues.  i was kind of upset that they didn't answer my question directly and said to myself im never coming to this show again.  but at the same time - my intuition was saying "they are right you know..."  when it came to my health and me being cooped up in the house all the time.

well thursday or friday night i believe it was i went on two different psychic shows.  i was quite impressed with how the first show was handling the calls and she was very informative with people, so I decided to call in and give it a shot.  so I asked about my finances and my career and trying to get some guidance on what I should go forth with.  she told me that I will be doing something as far as setting up my own business and it is something related with music.  this totally threw me off...as much as I would like to have my own business and i love music - i could not see how this is all connected.

then i started to ask about anyone in the family that is around me - and she immediately brought up my grandfather.  my grandpa tom was really my only grandfather that i got to spend some time with when i was little.  this would be my father's father.  she told me that he said he is always around me and is giving me support in whatever i decide to do with my life.  to be honest - it was a very comforting feeling because i always felt that my grandpa gave me a sense of security and strength.

and then the lady said she is seeing a bunch of t's around him - which he has 2 daughters he adopted (my 2 aunts toni and traci) and he said he was very very worried about one of them which one of my aunts is on dialysis from bad kidneys...she mentioned that my aunt is going to have this problem for a very long time if not for the rest of her life.  i haven't been very close to this aunt because she has a tendency to lie a lot about things and it really bothers me, and sometimes i feel like she takes advantage of me whenever she wants to go do things and i end up paying for it.  as soon as i can get a job again - i am determined to go do things with her.

so that was my first reading (im saving some parts out because they are quite personal)

then i had the second reading - and this was the same show that i went to a couple of months ago where i wasn't very happy with them.  again - i called in to ask about some dreams i have been having - and maybe they can help me out on what it means.  before i even got to ask that question - they started asking me a bunch of random questions like last time and im thinking "oh here we go again."  but they did bring up the fact that i need to get out more and be social.

but they immediately brought up someone else in the family who died very young in a car accident...which is my uncle mike (or uncle mikey is what i called him)...he was actually born a few years ahead of me so we weren't that far apart in age.  again - i'll admit that i did not spend enough time with my little uncle as i wanted to - only really got to see him once a year.  the last time i saw him before he passed was in the summer - and all i can remember is that he kept asking me if i would come over some time and hang out with him.  but i never did.  the psychics told me on the show that he is around me very much as well and he's very energetic and trying to help me get out there and have some fun.  that kid was so damn hyperactive so it made total sense to me that he's probably running around me in circles.  god i miss him...

so i thought i was skeptic about psychic readings?  the other lady (there are 2 ladies on this show) asked me what am I doing with the yard.  my jaw dropped to the floor.  i decided this year (since im living at my mom's house) that we were going to start landscaping the yard.  i've been digging up some new spots in the yard and putting some plants in there - and i just got the woodchip mulch in today actually.  i couldn't believe that they would know that...but they did mention that my uncle mike was watching me doing this.  i really just couldn't believe that.  so my skepticism has been greatly diminished just by that alone.

then they told me that i should look into being a landscape designer because i could make something great even with just a huge vacant lot.  and i thought wow - i've always wanted to try something like that, but i'm so scared to taking that risk of what if i waste my money and find out im not really that great at landscaping yards.  but i think just from that push alone - i am more than determined to take the risk and finally do something with myself.

so now for the actual part of this - the dreams:

i mentioned this on the last show i was on with the psychics that i had this dream with my aunt (who has the kidney disease) that she was laying down in a bed or a chaise - couldn't tell -- and my grandpa tom was there holding her hand - and there was this huge aura of white light just surrounding us.  I don't know if they could see me there watching them - but i heard grandpa tom whisper to her that she is going to be alright.  but i was wondering where my step grandmother was - she just died last year i think - or a couple years ago - it was around nov-dec 2006 i think.  but im surprised that i did not see her - she used to take care of me when i was little.

so there's that dream...

then tonight - after doing all my landscaping today with my mom - i was so tired form the lack of sleep the other night and passed out for about 4 hours.  im really kicking myself for writing this sooner because i don't remember what exactly was said - but i saw my grandpa tom again - he was sitting with me in some sort of room and there was someone else there that i don't remember - but we were talking about some sort of object and all of a sudden i looked over and my grandpa made a comment about some object i was holding - BUT I CANT REMEMBER UGH...

so all in all that's what i had to share - but the most important thing that i wanted to share out of all of this is that i have never had a dream (that i remembered) of my grandpa tom after he died in 1992.  i really wish he would come into my dreams more often so i can actually talk to him - there's so much that i want to say - but maybe he already knows what i'm going to say.

we actually still have a plant from my grandpa's funeral - i think it's a pot sort of plant - and this baby has grown over the years.  mom almost killed it because she's a plant killer (inside joke, she's not really anymore though) but we still have it in the same pot and it is just a gorgeous plant - i wish i knew what kind it was.  big round oval leaves and big stems.  it gets bigger every year...and every time i look at it i think of him.  when mom doesn't want the plant anymore - i am definitely going to keep it for the rest of my life.

I dag startede vi så op på et nyt fag, og det var med en hvis skepsis vi gik ind til undervisning i Informationsteknologi, eftersom vi alle sammen mente at hvis der var et fag vi alle sammen havde styr på så var det netop IT.
Det viste sig faktisk at være den bedste skoledag i dette skoleforløb. Vores lære startede med et oplæg og fortalte om hva vi rent faktisk skal lave til vores endelige eksamen for vores uddannelse, også kendt som svendeprøven. Vi skal de næste 4 uger lave et tilsvarende projekt som skal ophandle følgende 3 emner: programmering, webprogrammering, databasehåndtering samt netværk/firewall. Det ser ud som om den næste måned faktisk kan gå hen og blive ret spændende! Vi har i vores gruppe valgt at lave et projekt til brug i f.eks. en andelsforening, hvor det er muligt elektronisk at håndtere det tilknyttede vaskeri. Det skal være muligt at reservere tider, få et overblik over hvornår der er mulige tider, samt indbetale kredit alt sammen information der skal tilknyttes en konto. Det skal så være muligt at kunne vaske udelukkende ved at login når man står foran vaskemaskine, her indtastes ens brugernavn, samt password. Herefter tjekker systemet om man har reserveret tid, hvis ikke om der er en ledig tid, om den resterende tid man har booket er nok til det vaskeprogram man vælger, om der er penge på konto osv.
Alt i alt skal det nok blive et utrolig spænende projekt som nok kommer til at fylde den næste måned op, men en masse ny programmeringsviden, mange udfordringer og forhåbentlig i sidste ende et perfekt system.

Til sidst ville jeg da anbefale jer at høre The Dreams ny album, "Den nye by". Jeg er generelt mest til pop/dance, men efter jeg hørte deres første single, Verdenen vil bedrages, for godt et år siden på myspace, er jeg virkelig blevet glad for deres musik. Så gi det en chance, du kan høre nogle af deres tracks her: http://www.myspace.com/thedreams

But I did have a dream just now that sort of opened my eyes again.  I actually had 2 different dreams tonight, but I'm going to put them in separate posts because they are very different.

I don't know exactly when the particular date was, but there was a dream I had about a few months ago.  The only thing that happens is that I'm driving in my car passing through some exits.  It starts with me driving down the freeway.  This is not exactly an easy drive by any means.  I have to go through these exits through country farmland because this particular freeway is not completely connected.  There are signs that show me I have to take a certain exit to get back onto this highway.  I don't remember what the highway number was but I know it was a 3 digit number, I want to say it was 147, or 140-something.

Come to think of it this is the only exit that I had to drive on that is difficult - and it's the only exit that takes up my whole dream.  So it starts out as a regular highway then I go through this long ramp that is surrounded by very tall trees - very wooded like - and then I stop at a road.  Out in the middle of nowhere.  And the funny part is, the highway cannot be seen from any viewing point at all and there are no trees blocking any view.  It's just gone.

So I turn right and drive down this road for awhile - simply just a lot of flat wheat fields with no wheat growing, and then I end up at a 3-way intersection with 2 very large gas stations.  Now the first dream I had with this I did end up stopping at one of the gas stations to fill my car with gas and get a bag of Fritos.  I remember the gas price in the first dream to be $2.90 per gallon.  I then get back in my car and go down the other road that was at the intersection - and then I turn onto some ramp to get back on the freeway.  That was the end of the dream I had a few months ago.

Tonight - My dream was the same scenario - and the exact same location and look - but there was a twist.  I started out driving down the freeway again as usual...except this time there were a lot of semi trucks.  Some were going the same speed I was or slower, and some were going crazy fast, at least twice the speed of what I was doing.  I somehow manage to get in front of all the semi's so I'm the first one on the road.   Now before I get to that long winding exit ramp, there are these white solid lines that make me shift to the left side of the freeway with a blue and white sign next to it saying something like "you MUST drive in between these lines" - and something about getting fined or punishable by law if you don't drive in between them.  So I maneuvered in between the lines and the semis behind me did the same thing.  There was no road construction at all - the freeway was completely fine.

I eventually meandered back over to the right lane and headed down the exit again as I seemed to know that I remember going to this place before.  The ramp was still there except this time there were no wooded mini-forests that led me to the end of the ramp.  It was kind of a blur - but I don't think anything was significant about it.  I turn right at the ramp again and head down the road till I see now just 1 gas station.  The gas station had completely changed - the gas price sign was all in metal with a digital reader, and the price of gas was $9.50/gallon.  I remember getting so pissed off about it that I looked at my fuel gauge and it was full.  So I didn't go there and kept driving to the other road that led me to the entrance of the ramp - but the ramp said it was closed for construction.  I pulled my car over to the shoulder of the road, and then I woke up.

I'm thinking that maybe this was sort of my own taste of things going on in my life, and maybe it's a sign to tell me that my life is under construction.  I have been feeling lately that I am going to have a humungous lifestyle change soon - whatever that may be.  I know that I am not happy with my life and my health and the way I'm handling things - and I want to change it - but it seems that I haven't found any motivation to do so.  It's like - people can tell me all they want how I'm going to be so much better - but it's almost like I'm waiting for some OK signal from the universe to move forward and make whatever changes I want to make.  Maybe the universe is telling me that it is coming - but I first need to think about some things - about the consequences and the pros and cons of the lifestyle change.  Maybe it's telling me that it's time to change, but I can't move forward because I'm not in my heart ready yet to change.  Maybe the universe is also telling me that my life is in some sort of a chaos - hence the ramp closed sign - and I need to fix the ramp myself before I can get back on to the swing of things.

I'm starting to wonder if the first dream I had of this was during the time when i was employed and living in Raleigh, NC last year - before everything fell apart and I lost my job and moved back home to 5 months later of not having a new job.

But as you know - sometimes your dreams are not about what you think they are about...if that makes any sense.

come to think of it the only dream i can remember was a couple nights ago i was brushing my teeth and all of the bristles fell off and were jammed in between my teeth and i was trying to rip them out.  i think i need to get a new toothbrush anyways?

halfway through the trip, we stopped at a house that I don't ever remember seeing in real life, and my dad's friends were outside waiting for us.  they had their own truck too.  they also had their daughters with them who i have not seen in real life in a long time, probably years.

so here we go - everybody tried to get in the backsesat where i was.  for some reason the daughters tried to fit themselves in the trunk (it's an suv so it's all open) and they couldn't fit in there because of all the food.

but then - here comes this guy.  i have never seen this guy before.  dirty blonde hair with blueish-green eyes...and he sits next to me. he was carrying a bunch of things with him like some food and some dvd's (i guess we were all gonna watch movies later?).  we didn't say anything to each other though.

after we got all situated and we were about to get ready to take off again - mom was in the front seat and she kept handing us more dvd's, and the guy kept putting more and more of them on top of all my stuff - like i was about to drop everything.  so i got a little sarcastic with him and threw some dvd's back on his pile and he almost dropped everything...then we both looked at each other and he smiled and started laughing, and then so did i.

we finally arrive at my grandma's house...now i thought my dad was driving on this 2nd half of the trip, but i remember looking at the driver's seat and it was my uncle.  my uncle just got into trouble with the law (cough-dui-cough)...so i thought instantly that this was weird that he was driving.  they were actually going back into the woods with the trucks to a campground that we have there, but i decided to get out and head up to the house because i wanted to drop the dvd's off.

this is when i noticed that not only did the guy sitting next to me in the car disappeared and he was not in the truck, i was also not walking to the house, i wasn't even on the ground, i was floating off the ground to the house.  i got in, dropped off the dvd's, and gma's dog was there and i was saying hello to it and petting it.  then i remember looking through the windows and couldn't see where that guy went to.

then i put in one of the dvd's in to watch it, and the guy showed up on screen and said hello to me and said he was sorry that he couldn't be there...and then he started laughing about our sarcastic exchange of dvd's.

do i have the weirdest dreams or what?

but i had a fascinating dream in between that time. although strange to me in some aspects, but it's all connected i suppose. if you are not aware of mythological times (and i'm not exactly a pro in this department either) there was a mythological queen named rhiannon (wiki) and stevie nicks (who was in fleetwood mac) wrote a song about her. i'll post a youtube at the bottom of the song.

So in the dream i was in band class - in high school (this was over 5 years ago when i was in high school) - and i want to say it was my sophomore or junior year because there were some people in particular that i remembered in class that year (that i didn't particularly like and they happened to be sitting behind me). the band director was handing out sheet music to a song that didn't have a title. i remember looking at it being very confused wondering what the heck it was that we were going to be playing. one thing i do remember specifically is that i was holding the sheet music while this song was being played, i didn't have my instrument with me (i played alto sax in band)

i looked back over to the percussion section and there were no percussion snares or bass drums there - but there was instead a very large drum set and the band director went to the back to play them. all of a sudden everyone started to play rhiannon. and the fascinating thing about this was that it didn't sound like a full on band sound. that may be hard to explain. when i hear a song interpreted by a high school band, i expect to hear all the instruments involved. i was sitting in front of a bunch of trumpet players but i didn't hear any trumpets in the song. i did hear a lot of flute though and some clarinet and of course the sax since i was in that section. it was just very unnatural yet lovely sounding.

another facet in this dream was someone was singing the song - but when i looked around i could not find the person that was actually singing the song. it was a very soft velvety voice (similar to stevie's actually but i can tell it was definitely not her)...it was just very beautiful voice.

before the song started though - i exchanged some heated words with a girl that really was in my class in real life and she was sort of the stuck up im better than everyone person...

...and she played trumpet -- but i couldn't hear her. hmm...strange.

i also remember during the middle of the song there was a very cool breeze that i felt on my face - and i also remember after then closing my eyes during the rest of the song - like i was tranced in.

------

so i know this dream was all over the place - but there were a lot of things happening. that song by stevie happens to be my favorite song of hers, and that connected with my love for music and that i was in band during my middle/high school days, i kinda felt like the song was playing for me - despite the brat sitting behind me.

-------

miscellaneous things - a picture of rhiannon i found from google.

and the youtube video of the song (there are two videos - one is from the album - one is another song that is related to rhiannon)

stevie is actually right now working on some sort of a rhiannon project - whether it be new music or a tv series - but she wrote some songs back in the day for the project - this one is my favorite of hers (this was never released)

i honestly don't remember much of what was going on in my dreams, but there was one particular moment where i was trying to go back to sleep and i had a dream that i was in a bedroom and i was popping a bunch of pills. i consumed 10 pills from 2 bottles, i was shoving them in my mouth like i was eating something and i haven't eaten in weeks.

then i felt like the dream was sort of fast forwarding. i also sort of felt that this event was really taking place - like i was not dreaming at all. and then i started to panic. i was extremely scared of the fact that i just took a bunch of pills and i knew i was going to overdose and die. i was trying to reach for a phone to call 911 but as soon as i even got to the phone i woke up.

and this is one of those dreams where you wake up by immediately opening your eyes and gasping. my stomach was in knots and i felt sick to my stomach. i tried to remember if i took any pills that night...i usually take an aspirin at least 1-2 times a week because i get headaches a lot. but i didn't take any pills of any kind.

sometimes i wonder if the dreams that you have are just things that are made up in your head and you're trying to psyche yourself out.

i also sometimes get fascinated when i feel very alive in my dreams, and i feel like the things taking place in the dreams are really happening in my life. this is when i usually wake up and the whole dream starts to replay in my head and then i start to think about what i did the past few days before i then realize that i was just having a dream. it's almost like that first few seconds of waking up i don't know if i am back to reality or if something is still going on in the other world.

do you ever feel that you are in another world when you are dreaming? it's like that second life where anything can happen.

edit: i just realized something about why i had this dream. i was having a discussion with my mother the other day about how pretty much our whole family is on anti-depressants. she is taking prozac, my aunt is taking zoloft, and i think my grandma takes something (not sure). i said to my mother that i was thinking about going on an anti-depressant as well.

maybe this dream was someone showing me that i would be making a dangerous decision with taking medication. i was on a prescription for approximately 2 years that turned me into a complete couch potato eating zombie. so i am actually glad i had this dream because that really opened my eyes.

it was about a couple weeks ago that i had a dream of being in a very long and narrow white hallway. i was walking down the hallway, and all of a sudden a bunch of people are standing on each side very quietly just staring at me. nothing really creepy about it, i think they were more or less wondering who was walking down the hall.

in the middle (or towards the end) of the hallway there were a couple people in particular who sort of poked their heads out and said hello to me and waved. one of them was a guy and the other was a pair of twins. i couldn't really make out their physical features because there were so many ppl there so it was all sort of clouded. i responded back and said hello...and continued to walk down towards the end of the hallway.

this door was amazing, it was all encrusted in gold with beautiful architecture, almost like something you'd see in a royal castle of some sort. at the same time, you could see through the door - there was a big chunk of glass to look through. the other side of this glass (see how i came up with my blog's name?) had sort of a red carpet rolling on a slight downhill.

i was trying to figure out how to open the door - i remember reaching around for some type of a handle to pull (i couldn't push it for some reason). finally i opened it and i could now see clearly the red carpet and it was all outdoors, big beautiful lush trees with flowers and fruit, big tall shrubs, very alice in wonderlandish i could say (minus the red roses).

while the dream was starting to come to an end i was slowly stepping through the door when i heard a faint voice behind me that shouted "don't forget to write!"

...and this is when i woke up thinking about the past couple of psychic readings i had where i was specifically told that i should be writing down what is in my dreams because there is something going on that i need to know about. and then i had that dream, and all of a sudden everything sort of makes sense now.

so this is how i got started into my dream blog.