From JapanToday (cache):

Sex and poverty don’t mix, says Spa! (June 10). That’s a grim fact of life for the growing ranks of the “working poor.” The spreading “income gap,” itself a relatively new phenomenon in a country that has long prided itself on rising prosperity equally shared, is producing a “sex gap.”

More than 20% of an all-male survey demographic aged 25-39 said they were still virgins, commonly pointing out they feel inadequate for the successful career women about these days. Too blame is too many guys staying unemployed, at their parents, with easy unfettered access to adult videos by the internet. That's right, Spa! and their experts are calling the otaku/freeter generation a bunch of wankers.

Load: light, Sticky
Length: 11 minutes
Lube: KY
Porn: pictures

Todays wank was enjoyed while contemplating the wank itself, masturbation is a futile past-time, by the time you've achieved orgasm, what have you gained? a sticky chest and a reduction in your tissue back-log and sperm count.
Not that i much care about my sperm count at the moment, but still the entire act of masturbation is ultimately pointless surely? its supposedly got various health benefits, prevent prostate cancer and the like but this doesn't explain why every man and most women (those who'll admit to it at least) masturbates.
The whole thing has built into a billion dollar industry, porn is worth millions people will pay their hard earned cash to watch two people who are of average attractiveness do things to each other which if you were in a different mood you would find disgusting.
Then i considered one thing which i hadn't thought of until this point, post-orgasmic clarity as i call it,
Up until the point of orgasm you may consider someone to be quite attractive or look over their obvious personality flaws because  you wish to poke the squishy thing in their trousers for a bit, Post orgasm ofcourse this biological own goal is revealed to you and if you still think its a good idea immediately following ejaculation its probably not a terrible idea... or maybe it is and your a bit thick.
Upon ejaculation i realized one very important thing, biology, we're biologically compelled to reproduce the orgasm is part of this system so logically masturbation is just an extension of this, probably a pretty ill advised evolutionary habit but still.

27/05/08 10.07pm First wank of the day.

Load:Thin, splattery
Length: 17 minutes
Lube: no
Porn:no

Todays wank orientated around nipples, now i'm sure im not the only one who has noticed the vast variety of nipples available to the modern nipple fancier, There are literally thousands of combinations and as such almost every boob is different.
To those who say Tits are just Tits i say 'Pah! you boob novice! i mock thee!' or something to that effect with a possible biting of my thumb if i'm feeling flashy, the nipple is after all the decider of the breast, it is the point of focus, The central point, It is the altar in the chesty church and in my opinion the ultimate deciding factor between a good boob and a less than satisfactory boob.
There are afterall other factors, Size seems to be the one everyone focuses on this can be misleading as unless size is veiwed by an unsupported chest it can hide a large amount of sagging after all smaller boobs are more likely to be perky, there is then shape the oft neglected element of the boob a lemonesque shape is preferable in my eyes as it brings a nice shape, but the breast can be dome shaped or a plethora of other lovely alterntatives these two factors are very important but the decider is undoubtedly the nipple.
The nipple offers a whole group of sub-catagories to the offering of boob combo most notably and thus first is tone:
In white women this can range from skin tone (not awesome imo, but i wouldn't complain) to pink and through to brown, With other ethnicities im sure there is also a variety in nipple tone but im lacking experience in said field, The colour will decide how dominant the nipple appears within the boob and as such a dark nipple can bring a nice emphasis to the boob.
diameter is another important factor, a hugely wide nipple is frankly a bit weird, too small and well its dissappointing ideal is anything between an inch and 3 inches.
Next is the shape of the pointy bit or Nip as i shall refer to it, this can be quite wide and pronounced or very flat, it can vary depending on arousal.
there is also the nipples with the weird lumpy bits around the nip, which is odd but not unpleasant either.
The nipple is to the boob as democracy is to ancient greece, an esential part of the legacy
28/05/08 9.00am First wank of the day.

Load: Thick, heavy
Length:  9 minutes
Lube: Ky
Porn:no

Todays wank  was enjoyed when pondering the habits of animal rights protestors, defending animals from evil humans, i feel it must be said if it wasn't for people like these animals would probably be worse off as we'd all be using rabbits for footballs and testing our new power drills on the gerbil but there is a line i must draw.
Okay you don't want to eat meat, and you're going to boast about how smooth it makes your pooing, that i can deal with but you cannot deny the fact that the suffering and slaughter of animals is an essential part of the economy, meat is big money even bigger with the global population growing and the price of food growing,  but abatoirs create employment, meat packing creates employment butchers create employment and if you were to ban meat you would effectively bankrupt a very tasty part of society.
Whaling is often denoted as being cruel but whales suck ass, they're confused by navigational sonar and eat krill, lets face it whales contribute nothing to society! as such i see no problem with some norwegiens having a giggle harpooning a few and using them for various fun purposes, Who cares about damaging ecosystems? a new top dog will emerge to replace the whales anyway.
Sod whales they dont do anything cool.

29/05/08 10.00pm First wank of the day.

Load: Thick, pale
Length: 12 minutes
Lube: no
Porn:Yes, thanks :D

Todays wank was enjoyed while considering Fetishes, They are after all an odd aspect of human sexuality To fixate on something almost trivial and regard it with utmost arousal is quite frankly mental, Yet if you spent long enough with someone with a fetish im fairly confident you could be made to understand quite quickly.
Foot fetish's are a little weird but at the end of the day are they any odder than a boob fixation?
Isn't sadism/masochism just extreme foreplay?
and ultimately most of them come down to some element of domination or submission.
Foot fetishism would be submission, sadism would be domination but they all relate and even in vanilla conventional sex theres these elements in who's on top, who's iniating it, all sex is pretty much either enforcing yourself of accepting the force of another.
With regards to this idea, maybe all sex is rape, but unlike rape its not always the man forcing himself upon the other, also theres conventionally an element of concent involved.
unless thats what your into.
at the end of the day Fetishes help pad out the sexual experience as diverse foreplay and without foreplay sex would just be a repetative thrusting into a squishy place.

23/05/08 10.00pm First wank of the day.

Load: Thin, pale
Length: 10 minutes
Lube: no
Porn:no

This wank was enjoyed during a very dull half hour of waiting for movies to download, while reading i got to thinking about prostitution.
my experience of this field being limited to seeing exactly how hideous a whore can make herself look on mapperly top it was interesting topic but within this topic i found myself wondering what whores do in their free time, i go home play my uke and bust out a couple of knuckle children, but if i was a prostitute i'd probably be all fucked out!
Perhaps when prostitutes get home they read conservative literature and the bible for a risqué thrill.
this seems unlikely.
I found myself wondering about the relationship status of whores, it is commonly documented in BBC documentarys and that film with louis theroux that its a social faux pas to kiss ones hooker (i dunno if thats quite the accurate term but lets just say faux pas, if your using a hooker you've probably got a different perspective to those outside of the sex industry) i imagine this is part of an intimacy barrier they set up so they don't get emotionally attached to the client, surely this would be it.
I got to thinking during this wank that actually i could do some pretty unpleasant women if i didn't need to substantiate the intimacy, in fact i'd probably be quite good at being a whore.
Maybe next time i sobre up with a girl im not into i should just stop kissing her and get balls deep...
or maybe not, Following a disappointing orgasm i proceeded to watch tv.
24/05/08 12.30am First wank of the day.

Load: thick, light
Length: 21 minutes
Lube: Ky
Porn: literotica

Okay so todays wank was enjoyed in the early morning and as such should probably be classed as the first wank of tommorrow but back dating wanks as i am i think i'll stick it here as it adheres to the stream of conciousness i began on this day.
During this wank, i got thinking about Eyes, now its not an uncommon piece of flattery to look into your lovers eyes in a deep an passionate way and tell they they have beautiful eyes.
in my opinion this is a shit compliment and the cop out of an unimaginative lover, All eyes are the same, They are white and jiggly, they have big black bits in and a coloured bit with some lines in, All eyes are very similar in respect equal parts beautiful light receptors and gross squishy face holes.
The beauty would surely revolve around the shape of the eye created by the eye lids, brow, cheek bones and eye lashes, so surely a more apt compliment would be 'the fabulous symetry of your brow and cheek combines with your beautiful eyelashes to create a fantastic frame for your eyes' this is at the very least accurate, OR JUST MAYBE tell her what you're thinking, i dont think 'YOU HAVE AWESOME BOOBIES *muhmhjhm' is a bad compliment if its what your thinking, surely thats nothing but accurate.
i completed my business and fired off my genetic material to realize perhaps i was mistaking honesty for romance, romance after all has nothing to do with honesty.

*muhmhjhm is the sound of rubbing a face into boobies

25/05/08 11.56pm First wank of the day.

Load: light, thick
Length: 17 minutes
Lube: Ky
Porn:photo sets

Okay so it's sunday, a day of rest for christians, This does not apply to me as i do not follow such a religion however i am forced to put up with sainsburys closing at 4pm and me having to go elsewhere to buy cookies and irn bru on a sunday so often rest is forced upon me, not that i really mind.
Sundays fucking suck anyway, all the promise of saturday with all the malice of monday.
So i found myself while vigorously masturdating to fixate more and more away from the boobies of said erotic model (**cough** porn star**cough**) and towards her stomach, it wasnt like she had washboard abs, it wasn't the conventional perfume ad bullshit stomach, it had curves, this was the stomach of a real woman and its subtle curvation, its cheeky tummy buttom were all playing in a most fascinating way.
Yet most girls find themselves hating their stomach for such properties, This is in my opinion bullshit after all what guy really thinks 'nice girl, good personality, wants my cock, but shes got a squishy tummy, guess its another solid month of lonely masturbation for me', surely women should be encouraged to have squishy tummys, after all you gotta work with what you've got, if there are boobies directly above your tummy i bet your bf isn't going to invest too much time trying to avoid yelling insults at your belly.
The Female stomach is afterall the engine of life, the gateway through which we all entered this mortal coil and yet so many girls feel theirs is disgusting, LEARN TO LOVE YOUR LOVE HANDLES! cos if you can't now, 40 years down the line you're guaranteed to be looking worse than this so be happy with what you've got after all i bet you can still turn you man on.
I Cleared up my smear of man mess and attended to other pressing issues like learning to play counting crows songs on my ukulele

image by wagner machado carlos lemes
I've heard of people getting their rocks off on molesting women on trains, peeking under their skirts, masturbating on public transports and even peeping into toilet booths. But this by far takes a cake...and the cream.

This Singaporean Sicko likes sniffing girls so much that he's done it to more than 20 women in 15 months in various places, including in their homes! This is one sick guy.

Deservingly, he got caught and has been sentenced to a long time in jail and he'll be caned, too.

You can read the whole article here.

Speaking of 'pits, here are some of the best Lynx adverts to-date.

--
share it

:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::

She's not mad at you. Just...disappointed.

Share It!

They make pipes that are meant to handle semen?

Share It!

Let me say straight off the bat, pardon the imagery, that I don’t have a problem with masturbation. It’s fine - it’s natural, fun, therapeutic and usually doesn’t hurt anyone else. But seriously, the world is going to hell and it would seem we’re turning into a nation of dull-eyed, brainless, chronic masturbators – it’s just not healthy. Don’t believe me?

What the wank-obsessed fuck is going on with late night TV? Have-a-wank ads have been around for ages. Ten years ago in between bullshit late night infomercials like Kevin Trudeau’s Mega Memory you’d have phone sex line ads. That shit was bad: our crusty bitches are waiting for you to call 1900-I-wanna-pay-5-bucks-a-minunte-to-jerk-off-with-my-own-hand! It was sad and contemptible, lonely cashed-up motherfuckers who were so thick they couldn’t work out it’d be cheaper to go for a real rub-and-tug with someone else’s hand at their local massage parlour. Those stupid fuck-knuckles deserved to get taken for every last penny, but we could rest knowing that telephone hygiene was relatively safe due to the distance between phone and cock. Now it’s far worse: mobile phone porn ads - dial 1900-dirty-slappers-ooh-just-can't-wait-gotta-blast-a-load-all-over-my-fuckin-phone.

What sort of sad shit-sack beats off to a phone. That’s fucked up! Are guys today so frantic the get a load away, and so devoid of imagination, that they need pornography on their telephones? In the information age with a whole internet full of more free porn than the world will ever need, people are still paying exorbitant prices for visual wank fodder? And what does this mean culturally, is everyone pissing off to the toilet for a sly phone-wank every five minutes? Think about it, there's definitely a market for phone porn and don't kid youself that it's just a novelty, ah it's just a bit of fun, don't live in denial - where there's porn, there's wanking. We’re confronted by the harsh reality, on TV every night, that there must be a huge number of blokes hunched over, furiously wanking themselves off to their phones - otherwise the ads wouldn’t exist, would they? It’s fucking disgraceful! It’s a phone!

I now refuse to use other men’s mobiles. I can't bring myself to do it anymore. Fuck it, why take the chance? Think about the people you know, think about it next time you put a friend’s mobile up to your mouth. Does it stick to the side of your face? Did he wipe it off with an alcohol wipe, or was it a refresher towel from KFC, or did the filthy compulsive-cock-pounding freak just give it a once-over with a bit of dunny roll? Are you speaking into a dirty sex toy? Can you smell jizz?

22/05/08 10.30pm First wank of the day.

Load: Heavy, thick
Length: 30 minutes
Lube: Ky
Porn:no

Todays wank was enjoyed while working on other topics, it was a  side project wank really and as such didn't recieve the standard amount of attention usually given to masturbation.
I had decided to rearrange my hard drive so all my music was in a music folder and out of my downloads and all others were in corresponding folders however this proved to be tedious beyond reasonable means, so i found myself some alternative entertainment in masturbation.
It was oddly fitting a mindless repetative task and a chemically fuelled repetative task, both had goals one involved a hell of a lot less spraying DNA up my chest though.
i was considering the amount of time an effort people (myself included) put into finding sex, the amount of money poured into food and movies and all sorts of shit to impress a girl so you can ejaculate into one of her oraphaces and it struck me how incredibly pointless it seems because you're going to wake up the next day horny. Mind you it gives you something to do, encourages you to do new things, meet new people, if artists and musicians are being honest part of the reason they started their craft was to impress the opposite sex even if since then they've realized it doesnt work and continued on for the love of the art.
mind you it fills up the time, and if i looked at life the same way, wheres the point? i'm only going to die!
my major argument to that is i should try and have fun before i die and i guess at best sex is fun and encourages you to do fun things, also its an excellent weapon for busty young ladies!
eventually i was releived and found myself thinking clearly, i wasn't that desperate for sex, just bored and wanting for something to do which is pretty much the reason i play the ukulele.
much love niggas!

21/05/08 4pm First wank of the day.

Load: heavy, thin

Length: 20 minutes

Lube: Ky

Porn:yes

This wank was enjoyed thanks to the use of 'erotic' photography, i say this because it wasnt particularly pornographic, yes there were naked people but they were just sticking things in one another they were kissing, caressing and and removing clothing.
The differences are marginal yet mention erotica to a woman and they're intrigued mention pornography and they're disgusted, the two topics are damn well one and the same! if i'm busting one out to slightly more tasteful pornography it doesn't make it any more or less disgusting than wanking over something credited with the name 'Cum guzzler' (i mean really! who is aroused by Cum guzzling?), its masturbation for fucks sake the topic is irrelivant, the goal is constant and once achieved the topic is either forgotten or hidden (God forbid people realize you practice a habit enjoyed by most every person on this planet!).
during this wank i got thinking about body hair, it's weird, i see no evolutionary purpose for it but it is denigrated by western society as unsightly on women and muscly men.
Personally i really don't care how hairy a young lady is, i mean REALLY is hairy legs what i'm going to concentrate on if she's sitting on my face? almost certainly not and if i wanted hairless genitals i'd hang around play grounds, as i don't i think i can do without girls imitating prepubesence.
Seriously shaving your face feels rough come tea time, i can't imagine having your stubble bristling against your underwear is anywhere near pleasant!
Well the wank was concluded by this point and i went out to use more lube on my stretching spike to achieve a piercing of lego gauge, this was most pleasing but also ouchie :(
but i was a big boy, i made do!

20/05/08 12pm First wank of the day.

Load: light/thick
Length: 12 minutes
Lube: Ky
Porn: no

Today's early morning wank occured before bed, i often find this helps me sleep although being sticky before bed can be tiresome, the topic of said wank began with schoolgirls as a sexual stereotype in pornography.
What is supposedly arousing about school girls? well i came to the conclusion it would be the inexperienced/virginal association and presumed submission now this would be fine if most school girls weren't mouthy sexually active retards (not an amazing combination and unforetunately a series of characteristics passed on to the next generation due to their teen pregnancies).
Upon further consideration i realized that most other sexual stereotypes work around a strict power concept, Dominatrixes clearly sexually dominant, as would be police women, school girls would be submissive as would the classic porno secretary (an underused stereotype imo). A problem occured when i got to nurses, who have an element of submission in that they clean out bed pans and distribute sponge baths however they also have authority over their patients so i left this undecided as a place for further debates.
perhaps nurses can be catagorised into submissive and dominating, if any nurses would like to submit to me/dominate me i guess i could put up with that.

i slept well after i cleaned up and decided that i should change my foreskin ring tommorrow ^^,

19/05/08 9.40am First wank of the day.

Load: medium/heavy
Length: 15 minutes
Lube: n/a
Porn: no
Todays morning wank was enjoyed firstly while watching thewright stuff, but i switched that off about 5 minutes in when i decided that it was hindering performance.
the topic i was considering during my wank was pregnancy, i decided that my genitals are not suited to child birth and as such i should probably try and get somebody ELSE pregnant if i was desperate for a sprog.
i also decided i'm not too hugely desperate for a sprog so i'm gonna leave everyone unpregnated for now.

College was amusing today had our last juggling club which was pretty much just me jimmy, graham and karla as most everybody else was physicsing but we tried ridiculous passing uphill. it ALMOST worked.
after english and juggling i went to the library to revise, bumped into gina and we hung out, i revised and distracted her, it was great fun ^^,

today upon my ukulele i have been playing crossroads by cream and its rather damn snazzy too :D
Later bitches